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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29627436">I'm not quite done with it</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazelpunch1129/pseuds/Hazelpunch1129'>Hazelpunch1129</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sleepy Bois Inc Fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Sleepy Bois Inc, mcyt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Adoption, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Anorexia, Bulimia, Burning, Child Abuse, Cutting, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Eating Disorders, Flashbacks, Foster Care, Gen, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insomnia, Killing, Knives, Marijuana, Mental Health Issues, Murder, No Smut, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Assault, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Traumatized TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, sleepy bois meetup</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:40:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,447</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29627436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazelpunch1129/pseuds/Hazelpunch1129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>&lt; Summery update &gt;</p><p>Tommy and Tubbo needed a new home, Phil knew that, how hard could it be to help two new kids who had trauma and addictions? They can't be un-savable, can they?</p><p>----<br/>or<br/>----</p><p>Tommy and Tubbo had gone through years of trauma while in the foster system, adapting to the life full of smoke, intoxication and abuse. And why not sprinkle in a little bit of self harm, insecurities and disordered eating. The only thing...will they let themselves be saved?</p><p>(@Alex_Quackity on Twitter!! Look there for updates on new chapters)<br/>Holy shit, 19k hits!! THANK YOU)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Niki | Nihachu &amp; Ranboo, Niki | Nihachu &amp; Technoblade, Ranboo &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Ranboo &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sleepy Bois Inc Fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>992</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. He might as well be dying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As always, if anyone in this story says or has said they are uncomfortable with fanfics or anything in this story, tell me and this will be taken down / rewritten asap.</p><p>TRIGGER WARNINGS (ofc read tags)<br/>- Eating disorder<br/>- self harm<br/>- self hatred<br/>- intrusive thoughts<br/>- Weed / Alcohol<br/>- smoking<br/>First chapter is basically an introduction. More chapters get longer.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>(Tommy is trans, so he is referred to as she/her for a small bit.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finish cleaning the bathroom and than you can sleep</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finish cleaning the bathroom and than you can sleep</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finish cleaning the bathroom and than you can sleep</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The kid had been sweating at this point, the air conditioning completely turned off, as well as the power so finding the dirty hidden places was harder than it seemed.Mom and dad would be home any minute with their friends to stay the night. Sure they may be loud and trash the house, but them being drugged up gave Kid the peace to sleep without being scolded for not cleaning properly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Once she heard the door open, and multiple adult voices talk and laugh, she walked out of the bathroom with rags and spray, putting them back into the hall closet. Watching the floor so she doesn't step on a loose floorboard, she snuck into her room locking the door behind. She tucked herself away in bed finally, at midnight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>--------</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course teachers thought it was strange that one of their students' names was “Kid”, but nobody would question it. The adults didn’t question a lot of things about their student like how the kid always wore the same clothes or how she knew how to clean until it was spotless even though she was six years old. However they did start questioning things when the kid started to walk slower, not giving off the old hyper energy like she used to. Or when Kid had to change her top due to a bloody nose that came out of nowhere, that's when the nurse informed the staff about how thin the child was, and how cold she was.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This led to the principle calling emergency services to at least do a check in on the house. That afternoon the cops pulled into the Dyer family residence, when there was no answer at the multiple knocks at the door the cops entered. The house was dark, and frankly extremely warm due to it being about 67 degrees fahrenheit outside, and the indoors having no cooling system. The front entrance led straight into the living area, the common room was littered with needles and spilled drinks, four adults stirring awake at the sudden intrusion. No questions were needed, all four adults were detained immediately and taken to the station before they were brought to the jailhouse. The house was searched and blocked off, two cops staying at the house until the little girl came home.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At three in the afternoon the child started her journey home, granted it was only an eight minute walk, but for a six year old it felt a lot longer. When she got home she ignored the cop car sitting in the driveway, never being fully educated on what or who the cops were. She believed it was just a new friend coming over for her parents hangout. She opened the door and placed her bag down, walking straight into the living room to clean up her parents' mess. Instead of being met with cups and needles she was met with a lady in blue, no older than thirty years of age. “Oh did you clean up the mess?” The kid looked around the room more, not seeing a single needle in sight, pure confusion all over her face. None of the adults clean their mess, that's supposed to be my job. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah I did! Im Officer Lana.” she stuck her hand towards the smaller. “You’re going to come with me to a friends house while your parents are gone, is that okay?” She shook the officers hand, still glancing around the room for a mess, something, anything at all, she didn't;’t want to pay the price for not cleaning properly. “You know the mess is my job ma’am, you’re not s’posed to do it for me.” The lady smiled and held the kids hand, and started walking towards the stairs. “Wanna go upstairs and grab anything to take? Anything important you may need?” She walked over to her school bag and picked it off the ground, “In here.” Lana took her hand again and walked out of the house with the kid, putting her into the car and taking her away to a home. This home would later be known as Tommy’s safe house.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Building up sorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>5 weeks into being at the group home, a new kid arrived and his name was Tubbo. Tubbo had been a shy one, not talking much to adults he did not like to socialize with people. Kid had always been outgoing, more energetic than most of the kids. Kid and Tubbo were both assigned to help clean the bathroom after dinner one night, this would be the first interaction Kid was allowed to have with Tubbo, as Tubbo was on a high watch list for unknown reasons to the other kids in the home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo, you can't spray that cleaner on the-.... NO TUBBO STOP IT.” Kid grabbed the cleaner from Tubbos grasp before wiping away the liquid that was sprayed on the mirror. “What did I do?” Tubbo stepped away from the mirror and Kid, not wanting to make the other more frustrated. “This spray isn’t for glass Tubbo. It's for everything except glass.” Tubbo didn’t know why the other kids' hands were shaking, or why her voice had started to tremble. “Okay, um, what's your name?” Tubbo went to grab the rag and spray from the girl's hand before she turned around to face him, her face was red and a single tear fell from her face. “Kid. My name is kid, you should know that already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like that name for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo that's not how names work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t care, it's a shit name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo! You’re 8, you can't say that word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too bad, already did. Anyways, Pick a new name. I don't like Kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kid brought her hands up to her face and wiped away the tears that had fallen, she turned back around and started to wipe the mirror again. “What about Cassandra, that's Mrs.Cass’s name right?” Tubbo smiled and walked back up to the counter, he jumped up and sat by it. Watching Kid closely as she wiped the mirror down. “Oooo what about Cass, Cassandra sounds way too long. Cass is so pretty.” Tubbo jumped down from the counter as Kid picked up the used wet rags, handing the spray bottles to Tubbo. “Sure, Cass it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Cass, I’m Tubbo and I like bee’s!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Tubbo, My name is Cass and I like, I don’t know. I like music.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two smiled at one another and walked out of the bathroom, putting the cleaning sprays back into the closet and the rags into the mud room where the washer was located. Then they went to their bedrooms that were across the hall from one another. Cass was always told to not make friends, mom and dad would always chase them away like they were some sort of rodent. But maybe since she hasn't seen her parents in a few weeks maybe she could be Tubbo’s friend for a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Months passed, autumn was just around the corner. The staff in the home had realized that Tubbo and Cass had become closer, ever since Tubbo informed them on Kid’s new name. The two were inseparable, refusing to do chores unless they were assigned to do them together, they wouldn’t eat at the table unless the other ate at the same time. The two ended up so attached to each other that you would find Cass in the morning, in Tubbos bed. The two snuggling together, when Cass would be questioned she would say she had a nightmare and Tubbo always protected her from the monsters. Tubbo grew up pretty quickly, he grew up on the streets lucky enough to be in a safe area, he grew up faster than most kids, knowing that imaginary monsters weren’t real. But he didn’t know why Cass was in the system, sometimes old memories could be monsters and come back to chase you. He felt like an older brother to her, he didn’t mind sharing a bed at night. He stopped caring even more after they went through a few foster homes together, maybe he felt safer sleeping with someone he trusted.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Foster home one, the two met the lady who would be taking them. She seemed nice enough, she talked about how she had a dog that the kids would love. She carried a sweet smile around with her when she came to meet them in person and in the car on the way to her house. The home was nice, it was a grey and dark brown bungalow home, a big yard and flowers surrounding the outside of the building. Her dog was an Anatolian Shepherd named Deo, the two kids loved him until the Lady known as Danny had him go after the kids if they forgot a rule. Cass one time didn’t finish all her food, that got her and Tubbo’s food taken away for two days and Cass got a taste of a lashed out dog. That punishment happened quite often, if the kids felt sick, didn’t finish their food, didn’t do a chore properly,or failed a test. The two got taken out of the house after a neighbor complained about seeing the dog tackle a young boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Foster home two through six only gave the kids leftovers from their family meals. This led to Cass giving most of her food to Tubbo so he didn’t feel hungry, she was used to not having much food. The families made the kids do all the chores and take care of the pets, the biological kids using Cass as a punching bag most of the days. Their old group home was getting too full, so the kids were sent to a new group home. By this time the kids were 13. In their new group home the two got to share a room, the room had two twin sized beds across from each other. Between the two beds was a dresser that had two drawers, one drawer for themselves each. A window above the dresser, and by the door was one desk. On the side of the room there was a bathroom. When Tubbo asked why there wasn't a door or curtain for the bathroom entrance he was told it was for safety purposes. During the time they were back at the safe house, Cass opened up to Tubbo about feeling jealous of her brother, jealous for him being a man. The conversation lasted a few hours, until they made the call to refer to Cass as a guy until something changed. “So, no more Kid and no more Cass. What's your name now?” The first thing Tubbo asked the other boy once they woke up. “I haven't met any guy I liked enough to take their name after, like we did with Cassandra.” Tubbo looked around the room to find anything, anything at all that could be used as a name, at least for now. His eyes spotted his stuffed penguin that sat on the desk, he walked over and picked the small stuffie up. “Tommy.” He looked at the blonde and smiled, “What about Tommy, that's what the penguin's name is.” Tommy sat up from his laying down position, “Why not, we doing that introduction shit again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Tommy, My name is Tubbo and I like” he thought for a moment, “I like Tommy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Tubbo. My name is Tommy and I like this kid named Tubbo.” The two laughed at each other and decided to get up for the day, another foster home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the seventh foster home the parents were rarely home, they didn’t have kids nor any pets. This is when Tommy did some snooping around and found cigarettes, he showed them to Tubbo and they both snuck a few sticks and smoked while the adults were out. This became one of their many habits and addictions. Tubbo had already had his addiction when he was only seven with cigarettes, it was one way to suppress hunger on the streets. One day after school Tommy was behind the building smoking a stick when a Junior came up next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you smoke those for? Aren’t you in seventh grade?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Makes the world disappear mate, what's it to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want something that would make it disappear a lot better? Here.” The teen handed him a sandwich baggie that was almost 75% full of some sort of herb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's some expensive shit, but I know you’re the new foster kid down the street. That life is shit. Use that wisely. There's also a huge jar of this weed in Jones' room, that's the lady you've been living with by the way. Used to go over everyday. Take some of that, they never notice.” With that, the junior walked off and to the bus. One interaction that would just give Tommy another unhealthy habit that would take over his life. </span>
  <span>That foster home called the adults from their group home to pick the kids up, the boys were never told the reason why they were being sent back to the group home. But before they got picked up Tommy took the jar and hid it under his clothes in his bag, as well as a few packs of cigs. Brothers who stay together, apparently pick up bad habits together as well. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. This is the part where I shut up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>(Time jump, the boys are 14. It's been a year after their last foster home)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun shone brightly through the cracks in the blinds, the sun coming over the horizon. Tubbo moved around in his twin sized bed trying to face away from the light, the boy had always been a light sleeper. He tossed and turned for a few minutes until he finally pulled the covers off his body, looking over at his brother who was still sleeping across the room. The clock on the desk showed that it was 7:36 am. He stood from the bed, chills running down his arms as the cold air from the vent hit his warm body. Tubbo walked over to the bathroom that was connected to their room, one of the best perks of being one of the oldest in the group home, when Tommy found out about the two of them having the only private bathroom he wouldn't stop talking about it for weeks.. Stripping off his clothes, he turned on the shower and stepped inside the running water. The water wasn’t warm yet, but since their bathroom didn’t have a door for the sole purpose of “safety”, he didn’t feel like standing out and exposed. Even if the door to their room was locked and Tommy was sleeping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the water started to warm he grabbed the wash rag and soap and started to clean his body, scrubbing away at every inch of skin he could reach. Then his hair, making sure to wash any stray bits of glitter from his scalp from helping the kids with their crafts last night. He finished his shower in 20 minutes and stepped out, more cold air hitting his body. He grabbed a towel from the bathroom cabinet and wrapped it around his waist, then walked out of the bathroom to the dresser the two boys shared and opened his drawer on the bottom, pulling out black sweatpants and a green jumper. As he finished pulling the top over his head Tommy stirred awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo waited until Tom's eyes opened before he spoke, making sure to not scare him. “Morning Bub, it's only like eight. You can go back to bed.” Tubbo talked gently, it made Tommy feel safe. Tommy sat up and stretched his arms, hearing a pop come from his shoulders. “First the name Cass then Tommy and now Bubs. How many more names am I going to get from that brain of yours?” He smiled as he pulled the covers over his shoulders while sitting up more, the room being chilly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After years, the name Tommy stuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As many that fit. What about Smiles?” He sat down on his bed criss cross, now invested in the early morning conversation. “No...that one feels like a Cass name.” The blond scrunched his nose making a face that made Tubbo laugh. “Right, right. Are we still good with Bubs?”. Tommy nodded before discarding his sheets, shuffling over to the olders bed before sitting, Tubbo laid his legs straight to let his brother lay his head on his lap. It became a routine for Tommy and Tubbo to lay with each other, something with love language, at least that's what Sam told them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Possibly an hour passed while the Brunette combed his fingers through the younger's fluffy hair. The clock now read 9:12 am before they heard a knock at their locked door. “Kids, Sam will be here in a few minutes to meet with you guys again. Please get up and get ready okay?” That was the adult of the home, she wasn't very fond of the antics the two teens did, but she had a soft spot for them anyways. “Yes ma’am, Tom is going to take a shower first.” Tubbo moved his legs for Tommy to get up, he picked up his towel and handed it to Tommy. “Shower, and bring me your binder, you fell asleep with it on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy walked into the bathroom, first instinct was to take off his shirt and look in the mirror at his stomach. He zoned out while looking at himself, sucking in until he saw his ribs more than they already poked out. He didn’t come back into reality until he saw Tubbo handing a pillowcase over the small over head mirror. “No more Tom, take a shower.” Tommy couldn’t help but take in every detail of Tubbos' disappointed face, he knew his brother was just worried about him, but the look he was given made him feel 100 times worse. “If I don’t hear the shower starting in five seconds im going to sit in the bathroom and wait, Tom.” Tommy turned to look at Tubbo through the opened doorway, he was sitting on his bed messing with the stuffed penguin he somehow still had from the past five or six years. “Um, Tubbo I don't really-” without another word Tubbo stood up and walked back into the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid. Tommy took a minute before he slipped his binder off, before tucking it under the towel making sure Tubbo wasn’t watching. He slid his shorts off and then his boxers and stepped into the shower. “I'm taking your binder and putting it away alright?” Tommy gave a hum of agreement, not even questioning how Tubbo knew he tucked it under the towel. “No more trying to hide the binder Tom, or I will take it away for good. Got it?” Tommy gave another hum of assurance and continued his shower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Tommy got out of the shower, he put on a grey jumper as well as black sweats. “I slept last night right? Shouldn't I get to keep my binder as a reward for sleeping?” Tubbo raised his eyebrows as he picked up their discarded clothes and shoved them back into their bags.“You passed out from not sleeping for 5 nights straight, and you only slept for 4 hours. So no Tommy, you don't. It's dangerous.” Tommy crossed his arms and glared at the other teen. “Dont care, I look weird now.” Tubbo rolled his eyes, Tommy walked over and unlocked the door. “Hey, no. Lock that.” He looked back at the smaller and turned the lock back to how it was. Tubbo went over to the desk drawer and pulled out a box of smokes, then picking up an orange lighter. He held out the pack to the other after he lit his pick. He shook his head, “Do we have any blunts left or something? We both know nic doesn't do shit for me when we get put into another house.” Tubbo shook his head, tapping his thumb against the side of his index finger. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Edibles.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tommy went to the desk, looked around until he found the plastic bag containing their edible variety.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked up a large gummy, turning towards Tubbo. “How much is this one?” Tubbo took the candy from his hand and looked at it. “I don't know, 500 to 700 maybe.” He looked back up at the younger who had his eyebrows raised. “20 calories Tom. Just eat it.” He handed the gummy back and took another drag from the stick. Tommy popped the edible into his mouth, eating it as he put the bag of candies back into the drawer. Tubbo put out the remainder of his cigarette on the windowsill and walked over to the door, unlocking it and walking out, Tommy following behind.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Because the moon can't get in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The hall upstairs was quiet, most of the kids at the home still sleeping. Most of them didn’t wake until noon, or even later. The floor was covered with carpet, somehow still soft and clean. The boys made their way down the hall and down the stairs to the office that sat at the entrance.  The two sat and waited outside the office doors to be called in, mostly humming or mumbling songs. They watched as different staff members came in and out of the building, grabbing files, medication or picking up shifts. This group home was for the more “troubled” system kids, although Tommy and Tubbo were the worst in the whole building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The office door opened, echoing a squeak before a tall man with dyed green hair poked his head out. “Hey boys, come on in and head to my room. We are gonna have a small real quick.” He was smiling, something the kids rarely saw come from the tall man. The teens made their way to Sam’s room, sitting down in the chairs along the right wall. Sam’s room was cozy when you relaxed into it. His desk sat towards the back of the room, two chairs in front of the desk and 3 chairs along the side of the room, two on the right and one of the left. Behind his desk was a shelf full of books, action figures and a thick binder that held every kid's information, well almost every kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy and Tubbo had their own binder, kept in a locked drawer in Sam’s desk.Their files were much more filled than the other kids, and held many more medical papers from hospitals, and warnings. “Well then boys, good morning!” His voice was extremely cheary, it would have scared Tommy if he was starting to get buzzed from the edible. “Morning Sam, what's this meeting about?” Tubbo was always the one to talk, also being more liked by staff than Tommy was, he didn’t provoke chaos as much as Tommy. “Well boys, two things. One we have to check medication and Tubbo, look for anything.” Tubbo nodded, he never did tell Tommy why he was in the system, or on a watch list like him. “Two, there's someone coming to see you today and take you home to foster, in about an hour. His name is Phil, he may also bring his sons. I believe he has two. And no I didn’t talk about you to him, he just for some reason insisted on taking the problematic kids, so behave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He insisted?” Tommy spoke up, he learned to not trust adults, but the one who wanted trouble kids made him overall confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Tommy. He was calling to see if there were any kids that needed to be fostered-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don't need to be fostered.” Tommy was going to make this ten times harder than it ever needed to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Tommy I know you don’t want to go to another home-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Samuel, we don’t need to be fostered again.” Tommy ended up out of his chair,raising his voice ever so slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sit down.” Tommy sat. “I was going to tell him about another kid who is from another group home, but he insisted on a kid from Owan Parks, this home.” This made Tommy worry even more, did this man know it was easy to take advantage of troubled kids with trauma? He also mentioned sons, other kids were never a good sign. Tubbo on the other hand was listening, paying attention to the way Sam looked while talking about Phil and his sons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He adopted one son from the system and the other kid is biological. He's a good man, I promise nothing bad will happen at his house. Nothing like the other homes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys got their meds checked and Tubbo got looked at before being sent back to their room to pack their things. They didn’t know the rules of the new home, and they knew for a fact Sam would be pissed if Phil declined them because he smelled something from their bags. Or noticed that Tommy was now high out of his mind. If he overtook his medication with marijuana it would make him nauseous or dissociated. As Tommy started to shove his blanket into his bag, he started to slow his movement before he sat down completely on the ground due to the world slowing around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy.” He looked up from the ground at the boy who stood next over him, Tubbo crouched down to his brother's eye level. “How many of your pills did you take today?” His eyes glanced over at his bag before he looked back at Tubbo. “Three.” The older stood back up and walked over to Tommy’s bag and finished putting his sheets in. “And how many of my pills did you take?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, how many did you take of mine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo, I took none.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bullshit Tommy.” He crouched back down at Tommy’s level. “You either took some of mine, or you took more than three of yours. You are always able to handle the edible with your dosage of medicine. There is a damn family coming in a few minutes to meet and take us and you are out of your mind.” Tommy broke eye contact with his brother and looked at the floor. “Tommy, you didn’t eat anything yesterday did you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, did you eat yesterday?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo you watched me eat the fucking dinner last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo we ate dinner together I don't underst-?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ate the food yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes Tubbo for fuck sake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you keep it down?” Tubbos voice lowered, Tommy stayed quiet, only lifting his hand to wipe his cheek. “Tommy, I want an answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you passed out last night? Did you make yourself that light headed from trying to force it out while I was with the kids?” He lifted Tommys chin up to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry Tubs.” Tubbo kissed the top of the boy's head. “I promise I tried”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to ask for help Bub, please?.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A knock at the door made Tubbo jump. Tommy brought his hands up to his cheeks and wiped his face from the remaining tears, standing quickly to go back to his bag. “Boys, Phil and his sons are here, get your stuff and come down.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I'm built by you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So Mr.Watson, before I go and get the kids we shall talk about their past in other homes.” Sam shuffled through papers from the individual binder. “Alright then, so Tom- um, Cass has a history of being in a home where her parents did heroin and were alcoholics, no food and was basically the cleaner of the home, always got punished if something wasn’t cleaned properly. There’s nothing important other than her medication, which is to bring up her iron levels because they are extremely low. She does zone out quite a lot and takes extreme interest in certain things, that's all we know of that should be looked out for. Now Tubbo on the other hand has more problems that we are aware of, he does have a history of self harm, may it be cutting or burning himself. He also has a past of smoking, although that was when he was eight I believe, just may need to look out for relapse on smoking. He has always been secretive about the self harm past, and I’ve never told any other foster homes because they never lasted long. But you feel different Phil, I trust this may be good for them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Both kids are known to have thoughts about running, never have acted out on them though. They also make huge messes, at least in this group house, not sure about foster homes. Oh yes, Tubbo is also medicated for insomnia. I do believe that's all, any questions from any of you men?” In front of Sam sat two men, Phil, who was about 6’4, he wore a white tee with a black button up along with dark blue jeans and a green hat. Next to Phil was Techno, he had pink hair that ran to his lower back, but was pulled into a messy bun at the moment, Techno stood at about 6’2. On the left side of the office was a brunette, Wilbur, wearing a yellow jumper and black skinny jeans, he stood at around 6’1. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which kid is more of a prick?” Wilbur spoke without taking his eyes off his phone where he was scrolling through instagram meme’s. “Wilbur! Be polite, you don't talk like that in public.” Phil scolded the younger of his two sons. “If you mean who is the more troubled, that would be Cass. She's very hard to like according to a lot of the staff.” Sam stood and flattened his top, “Ill go tell the kids you’re here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Boys, Phil and his sons are here, get your stuff and come down.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys picked up their bags and started their way out of the door, Tommy stumbling slightly as the edible seemed to kick in even more than before. “How much you wanna bet Sam still used the name Cass and called me a girl.” They walked slowly down the hall, looking into each doorway to the younger kids who still slept. “You know he probably did, you may just have to tell them yourself.” Tubbo dragged his hand along the stair railing as they walked down, Tommy holding onto Tubbos shoulder for each step. “Tubbo stop. Shhh shhh shhh.” Tommy pulled Tubbo against the wall, silencing him to hear the ongoing conversation inside the office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur chuckled, “Hey dad, how much you wanna bet that, that Cass girl is going to rum in the first week.” Tommy cringed at the name being used, listening closer to hear Sam laugh and the dad scold his son, “William, watch yourself young man. Scare these kids off and you won't be seeing that guitar of yours for a very long time.” Tommy stiffened, William, the name sounding so familiar. Not the good familiar, the bad type, but he couldn’t remember anyone named William, at least who he had had a bad time with. “Tommy, come on, we have to go in.” Tubbo held his hand and slightly pulled the younger by the door way, then Tommy tugged in the opposite direction. “Tommy no, do not do this right now.” The name sounded so bad to his ears, it told him to run, he needed to run away from whoever William was. He was having a panic attack and Tubbo had no idea how to deal with one when he was high.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno had heard whispering in the hall as his brother, father and home owner chatted away, waiting for the children to get to the office. He turned his head and saw a short male, probably around the height of 5’7 having a look of reassurance covering panic. He was also tugging at something, or someone? “Hey, I'm going to use the bathroom real quick dad.” Phil waved his hand to excuse the teen while he talked with the adult in the room. Techno walked out of the room and closed the office doors behind him, turning slightly to see the same boy, pulling at a blonde kid's arm. He seemed to be trying to talk to the blonde kid, but it was obvious to anyone's eyes that the other kid was in panic mode.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno walked over and kneeled down beside Tubbo who was still whispering to Tommy. “Hey kid, what's happening here?” Techno tried to make his voice sound as comforting as possible, the brunette didn’t seem to care who was beside him right now. “He's just panicking, I promise we aren't stalling. We'll go to Sam's office in just a minute. please just wait a minute.” Techno frowned at the boy, he seemed more scared of getting punished than anything. “Tommy please don’t do this-, FUCK.” Tommy had fainted onto the ground, before Tubbo could try and pick him up, Techno placed a hand on his shoulder. Tubbo jumped, just now registering that there was someone else by him, someone who wasn't a worker. “I'll pick him up, just lead where the bathroom is okay?” Techno walked over and picked up the boy who was now on the ground, following Tubbo as he led the way to the closest bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, he’s fine. He’ll wake up in a minute. Im Techno, what's your name.” He had sat Tommy slumped against the wall in the bathroom while Tubbo sat on the counter by the sink. “Tubbo.” Tubbo was swinging his legs, completely content with the situation now that Tommy would wake up and be okay. “Alright, hello Tubbo, im Techno. One of the sons of Phil who is the man who is taking you and...Cass? To foster I think.” Tubbo slowed his legs from swinging around and looked at Tommy, squinting his eyes before looking back at the man with pink hair. “You have cool hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“People with cool hair usually can keep secrets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? Where'd you hear that one from?” Tubbo smirked and pointed at Tommy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So if I tell you a secret can you keep it a secret, and not tell your family?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Depends on the secret, if you're about to tell  me you do coke or some shit than Phil is going to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t do coke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do any drugs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cass isn't a real person.” Instant subject change, Techno would hold onto that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then who are we fostering with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy is Cass. But he's not Cass anymore. He, not she.” Tubbo gave Techno a hard stare. “Remember that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay so don’t misgender Tommy. Tommy is trans. I can’t tell Phil or my brother….why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo hopped down off the counter and walked over to Tommy who was stirring awake. “He has his reasons. May as well wait until he feels safe enough with your family.” Techno nodded his head, he walked towards the door. “I'm going back to the office, better hurry up before Sam searches for you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. dark mode</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Updates on twitter @Alex_Quackity</p><p>Just wanted to get a chapter out, apologies if this isn't up to standards, most of this is dialogue and dialogue is not my strong suit in writing.</p><p>LONGER CHAPTERS COMING SOON, IM SORRY THAT THESE HAVE BEEN SHORT, SERIOUSLY</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hmm, That's odd. The kids should’ve been here by now. Excuse me while I go get them.” Phil nods while Sam stands and walks out the door, he looks down at the files in his lap that were given to him. He opens up the top file, a stack of papers almost falling out. “Read it out loud would you? I would like to know who’s coming into our house this time.” Wilbur stood from his seat and walked behind his dad, leaning over his shoulder. Phil lifted a small stack of papers from the folder and held it over his shoulder for Wilbur to take.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay wait, I thought we were told the two were siblings. It says here that Cass is an only child? Why are we taking both of them?” Wil flipped through the pages until he came to written notes from old foster homes. “Oh hell no Dad, we are not taking these kids.” He dropped the papers back into Phil’s lap and went back to his seat. “Why, what did you read?”. Techno walked back into the room, rolling his sleeves down, taking his seat while giving his brother a questioning look. “All the notes from their other homes together. These kids are going to make life hell for god sake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the notes from their other homes together. These kids are going to make life hell for god sake.” Tubbo and Tommy were standing outside the door with Sam when Tubbo froze momentarily after hearing what one man had said. Sam didn’t seem to care about the comment “All the notes from their other homes together. These kids are going to make life hell for god sake.” that was overheard. “Alright, found them! Now we can get started.” Sam clapped his hands while he entered the room, the two kids following behind him. Sam took his seat behind his desk, he opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a large baggie full of fun sized candy, he tossed the bag over to the boys. Tommy smiled as he opened the bag and took out a candy for him and Tubbo, he was smiling until he caught a pissed glare coming from a guy in a yellow top. Tubbo saw Tommy glaring at the man, he moved in front of Tommy and lifted his arms over his shoulder. Tommy focused back onto Tubbo, his smile returning as he leaned against his brothers back, hugging him from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright let's start so you guys can hit the road sooner than later. Are you two going to sit down?” Tubbo shook his head as he leaned back into Tommy’s hug, he knew Tommy wasn't going to talk much. Although it could be for multiple reasons, Tommy knew he was going to be known and referred to as Cass for a while, he was thinking about how much this family would judge him for eating or how his body looked, or the fact he didn’t trust anyone in this room other than his brother. “Dad, read the damn letters before you make a dumb </span>
  <span>decision</span>
  <span>.” Tubbo watched from behind as the older man in the room shoved the files into his bag on the floor and clapped his hands together. “Anything needs to be said before we go?” The smile in the man's voice was loud. “Oh.” Sam's face showed confusion before he brought back his smile. “Would you like to go over the warnings and everything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No sir.” Wilbur turned his attention sharply to his dad before Sam spoke again. “Okay, well the two are on medication. They have it in their bags. Tom-” He cleared his throat. “My apologies, Cass just has pills for iron deficiency, Tubbo has his antidepressants.” Phil stands up holding his bag, then shakes Sam’s hand. “Thank you Sam, we shall be on our way then. My youngest is waiting for us at home.” Techno and Wilbur stood from their seats and followed their dad out the office door. Tubbo reached his hand up and ruffled Tommy's hair before taking his brother's arms off his shoulders, he held Tommy’s hand as they walked out with their bags. “The man has pink hair.” Tommy whispered as they walked towards the door. “I know! What if Phil lets you cut your hair and dye it.” Tommy smiled “That would be cool. Can girls have short hair?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but youre a boy, and I'm almost positive Phil and his sons will be down to let you do your hair. If you ever feel comfortable enough to tell them that you're Tommy.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I'm ordering the usual</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Please DM me on twitter @Alex_Quackity if you have any tips on how to make this story better. Thank you!!</p><p>When writing i did think that this was a long chapter....but its not. Im sorry again</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tubbo sat in the passenger seat, Wilbur sat behind the driver's seat and Techno sat in the middle in the back. Tommy sat behind Tubbos' seat so he could hold his hand while they drove. They were about an hour into the car ride, they had been listening to the radio, Wilbur and Phil singing pop songs. Phil gave Tubbo his phone to play some games and him and Tommy had been taking turns playing. “Okay, so real question. Are you some sort of tomboy or something Cass?” Wilbur spoke up right after the song ended on the radio. “Not that i'm judging or anything.” Tubbo looked back from the front seat, “She likes wearing my clothes, they are more comfortable than what she had.” Wilbur nodded and went back to his window watching. “ Would you guys mind if we ask you some questions? So we can get to know you better?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo shut off the phone and indeed towards Phil. “Okay, What are your guy’s preferred names? Like, Technos name isn't legally Techno, but it's what he goes by to everyone. Same with my other son Ranboo who is at home.” Wilbur rolled his eyes as he looked back at everyone in the car, may as well join the conversation. “I go by Tubbo, only Cass is allowed to call me Bee or any other nickname he comes up with.” Tubbo looked back at Tommy, “Do you want to talk?” Tommy shook his head. “Cass goes by Cass.” “Why did you say that?” Wilbur questioned. “Hmm? When?” Tubbo looked at Wil, “You said any nickname he comes up with.” Tommys eyes went wide as he looked at the man in yellow, Techno saw this and decided to shut Wilbur down before he did any damage. “Tubbo misspoke you dick. Your turn for a question.” Tommy leaned back further into his seat, trying to hide behind Technos body while his grip on his brother's hand tightened. “Cass, what are your interests?” Tommy tapped Tubbos arm with his opposite hand that sat on his lap. “She likes to sing and play some instruments. She’s played the piano and trumpet and guitar and she was going to play the drums at our old school but we got kicked out before the drums were given out at school.” Wilbur smiled at Tubbo and went back to looking out the window once again, Tommy had no idea what he was supposed to think of this guy. Phil pulled into the driveway of a McDonalds, while Tommy was busy with his turn on Phil’s phone. Tubbo was turned around in his seat helping him with a level of the game. “What do you boys want? You can get anything since we will be on the road for a bit longer.” “Cheeseburger, medium fries and coke. The usual Dad.” “Two mcchickens, small fries and lemonade.” Phil repeated the two orders into the microphone before he turned to the boy next to him. “Can I get chicken nuggets and...am I allowed to get lemonade as well?” He smiled and repeated the order once again, then turned to the kid in the back, Tommy didn’t look up, nor did he speak. “Cass, what would you like to eat darling?” Tommy hated this. This morning when he looked into the mirror, it was quite obvious he had gained some weight, his stomach stuck out more than it did a few days prior. His heart was beating faster than it had been when he was in the hallway being dragged to the office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of his heart beating sounded louder than any of the outside noise, completely engulfing his sense of hearing. He felt Tubbo’s hand remove itself from his grasp, he lifted his head to see Phil talking to the person who was taking their order while Wilbur, Techno and Tubbo all got out of the car. They all switched seats, Wilbur now sitting in the passenger's seat, Tubbo in the middle and Techno by the window. Tubbo buckled his seat belt and wrapped his arm around Tommy’s shoulder, he laid his head on his shoulder. Phil moved around with the overhead mirror to look at the siblings in the back. “Why don’t you take a nap Cass, we have an hour until we get home.” With that, Tommy fell asleep, laying his head on top of his brothers, with the song ‘Star Shopping' by Lil Peep filling the car, Wilbur turning it up louder. The song drowned out the loudness of his heart, and the voices that filled his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-------- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Tommy woke up he was laying on a dark grey sofa, a light grey weighted blanket on top of him. He slowly sat up, not remembering waking up to get into the house, he didn’t see anyone in the room, he didn't see Tubbo in the room. Tommy stood up to look around the room. In front of the couch was a glass coffee table, in front of the table was a fireplace with a flat screen tv above it. On the left of the fireplace there was a door that was cracked open, Tommy walked over to the door, slowly pushing it open to peek inside. “Tommy, sit down.” He froze in his spot, his right hand still on the door handle and his left hand placed on the wooden door. The person who spoke took a few steps towards Tommy and the door. With the amount of times Tommy had to memorize footsteps, he knew that the footsteps weren’t Tubbos, the voice was far too deep as well. “Tommy come sit down real quick, that's my painting room. I can let you look in there if you sit down for a minute.” He turned around and saw Techno standing next to the sofa with two mugs in his hand. Techno put one of the mugs in front of where Tommy had been laying down, then plopped himself down on the other side of the couch with his mug. Tommy walked over to the couch but instead of sitting down he looked through the doorway that was behind, into an openhallway that held bookshelves. “Where's Tubbo? And your family?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo is with my brother Ranboo in his room. Wil is in the garage fixing his guitar and Phil is in his office.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck is Ranboo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My brother. You’ll see him soon. Drink the hot chocolate Tommy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you calling me that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's your name right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's a guy’s name, Techno.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay? Tubbo told me about the whole thing. I won't say anything, I promise that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You dick! Someone can hear you say this shit!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They cant hear me, but they can probably hear you yelling at me, so calm down.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy sat down on the couch pulling his knees-up to his chest. Techno grabbed the second mug and handed it towards Tommy. “I don't want it.” Techno raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side, “Why not? Tubbo said all you've had today was candy.” A giant wave of guilt had crashed over Tommy, that was right. All Tommy had eaten today was the edible, 20 calories, and the candy that he had taken out of the bag from Sam, 100 calories. He had eaten so many calories already and it was all on food that would definitely make him gain weight. Now someone in the new home knew how much he ate and it disgusted him. “I didn’t mean to eat that much.” Tom took the mug from the man's hand, “Tommy, you ate a fun size pack of sour patch kids and Tubbo said you had one, a singular life saver gummy. That’s barely anything.” The kid nodded and took a sip from the mug. He almost dropped the mug when a tall teenager ran by the door laughing and sliding across the floor. He ran back to the doorway he slid past, “Techno! Techno, Dad said Tubbo and I can make cake pops if you are there to supervise us. Please come sit in the kitchen!” The pink haired man stood up and walked towards the boy who had half-and-half dyed hair. “Common Cass.” Tommy stood up with his still full mug and followed behind Techno out of the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno sat down at the island in the kitchen, Ranboo was getting out all the ingredients for cake. Tommy was standing next to the stove with Tubbo as the older whispered to his brother. “Ranboo is super cool Tom, he helped decorate my room with some of the drawings I brought with me. He's 16, Techno and Wilbur are 17, they just turned 17 8 days ago! Can you believe that!” The blonde smiled at his brother, it was the happiest he had seen Tubbo since the day he learned the piano. “You like this home Tubs? You wanna stay here?” Tubbo nodded rapidly, he grabbed Tommys hands and started to swing them while he rocked on his feet. “Yeah Bee, They seem to like you already.” Tubbos smile fell and turned into a look of sadness and concern and he stopped swinging their arms, “Bub, they like you too! What do you mean?” Tommy started swinging their arms again, “You remember how we said that we were going to stop smoking and getting high and drunk when we found a good home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yea, I really think this home is good Tommy! We have our own rooms, they bought us food and we are making cake pops. Phil is even letting us go shopping tomorrow! I’ll get rid of everything tonight, it's all in my bag right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! I’ll give it all to Phil for him to discard.” Tubbo hugged the taller boy then walked over to Ranboo where he was getting a bowl to mix the contents for the cake. Tommy looked at the island where Techno sat, Techno nodded his head towards the McDonalds bag that sat across from him. Tommy put on a smile, he knew he was going to be forced to eat the food, and he didn’t even know how many calories was in the food. “Techno, where's the bathroom?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Take it Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(House layout on twitter @Alex_Quackity (It's what i imagine while writing, you can make your own house to imagine!)</p><p> </p><p>Sorta proofread? Im kinda proud of this i think although I think it sounds rushed? Lmk. It's also 4:45am and I haven't slept in 3 days :]</p><p> I SEE THE COMMENTS AND I CRY, I SEE THEM ALL. I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU</p><p>(Any feedback please give it! I need)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tommy turned away from the three in the room, he went out of the kitchen and turned right, through a doorway that was next to the stairs. Techno said there was a bathroom in that hall, the second door. He swiftly pushed the door open and closed it behind him, he stood against the door and stared at the wall in front of him, it felt like needles started to prick at his heart. His back slid down the door, his hands brought themselves up to his head and started tugging on his hair. He felt like he lost all control over his body as he struggled to suck air into his body with hot tears racing down his face silently. A giant wave of nausea started to drown him, his eyes were completely blurred by an overwhelming amount of tears that had yet to fall. Tommy curled in on himself and covered his mouth as a sob escaped his mouth, only being able to take extremely short breaths of air into his lungs between the hiccups. He could feel everything, the cloth that touched his arms from his sleeves, the feeling of not having his binder on, he could feel the certain areas on his legs where his pants touched and where they didn't. Bile was making its way up his throat the more he panicked, he lunged himself forward, towards the toilet, barely making it to the opening before he threw up. The vomit burning his throat, as all that came up was stomach acid from the lack of food. He stayed leaning over the toilet as he cried and coughed, trying to get rid of the vile taste that lingered in the back of his throat. He tried to keep it quiet but the mix of gagging and choking on his own sobs were loud enough to be heard from the surrounding rooms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cass, are you okay?" Phil knocked on the bathroom door. He had heard cries and coughing while working in his office that was next to the bathroom. He knocked again, "You have to answer me or I'll need to come in?" Tommy just threw up again, one hand holding onto the toilet seat so tight his knuckles were turning white, his other digging into his thigh, nails forming small cuts. Phil opened the door and walked inside, closing it behind him. He kneeled down beside Tommy and held his hair back behind his head, "Shh Shh, you're okay. You're safe right now." Tommy flinched slightly at the touch, but continued to cry a bit louder than before. The boy moved away from the toilet and leaned against the wall next to him, Phil let go of his hair as he brought his knees up to his chest, now bringing both his arms in front of him. His left arm wrapped around his stomach and his right hand pulling at the opposite arms sleeve. Phil leaned forward a bit more to get closer to the kid, he forced Tommy's hand away from his sleeve when Tommy started to scratch harshly at it. Tommy attempted to pull his hand away from the man, moving his whole body to get his hand back but failed. "Cass hun I need you to focus on something okay? Can you do that?" Tommy shook his head no, "No no stop it, s-stop." He brought his other hand up from his stomach to his collar and tugged on his shirt. "Do you want to get that off?" Phil spoke gently and quietly, making Tommy have to try harder to focus on just his voice that was being drowned by the sound of his own heartbeat. He nodded frantically while more sobbs came from him and more tears fell faster than before. Phil stood up and opened the door a crack, he called out for Ranboo to come to him, Tommy couldn't hear what Phil was saying, but after what felt like hours, Phil got a blanket from someone outside the door, then closed it and locked it. When Phil turned back to Tommy he saw the kid pushing himself against the wall more, "We're gonna take your top off and wrap you in this blanket okay? Nothing else." He kneeled back down on his knees and moved his arms forward, "Can you lift your arms please? The blanket will be on you immediately I promise." Tommy wrapped his arms around his stomach and fear made its way onto his face, "Im sorry, i'm sorry I didn't mean to do anything, please." Phil held the blanket and put it between Tommys thighs and stomach, "We are going to take your shirt off, and this blanket will be on top of you. I will not touch anything other than your clothes, okay?" Tom nodded and hesitantly lifted his arms, Phil grabbed the bottom of his jumper and lifted it over his head, he tossed the jumper to the side, lifted the blanket that was bunched up and covered the boy up to his shoulders. Tommy pulled his knees towards himself even more and crossed his arms across his chest. The man slowly brought his hand up to the younger's face and held the kids head in his hand, wiped away the tears on his cheek as they slowly stopped falling. Tommy leaned into the touch without noticing, the man sadly smiled at the kid. He shifted in his spot to sit fully on the ground in front of Tommy. It had been one of his calmest panic attacks ever, and of course he felt stupid for having a panic attack on his first day at the house, but the man sitting in front of him felt sorta safe. Due to this being one of his calmest panic attacks he wasn't exhausted like he usually would be, the blonde just sat where he was and looked at the ground next to Phil as he still leaned into the touch from the man. "Im sorry, I didn't mean- ." Tom moved his head slightly to look at the father "I said you're safe, and I mean it Cass. You will never be hurt here, and you never have to apologize for being scared." Phil kept rubbing the kids cheek with his thumb, "Do you want to go to your room and sleep? I can give you a different top if you want." Tommy frowned, "No, I don't need to sleep. But yeah a uh change of clothes would be nice I guess. Phil stood and removed his hand from Tommy's face, he unlocked the door and walked out, Tommy stayed seated on the floor, moving a bit only to flush the toilet. Phil came back a few minutes later with clothes in hand. "This is Wilbur's top, he said you can use it since it's a bit small on him." He held up a long-sleeve-top that was the colour of honey. "And his old plain black shorts you can wear." Phil handed the clothes to Tommy on the floor, "I'll be in the kitchen with everyone okay? Come in there when you're done." Phil was gone again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy slowly pushed the blanket off of him and onto the tile floor below him, he stood with the clothes and changed, avoiding looking down at his own nude body for even a split second. The shirt sleeves hang down from his arms due to how thin his arms were, the shorts didn't stay up as for his hips were too small for the clothing to touch. He tightened the strings on the shorts around his waist and rolled the bottom of the shirt up so that it didn't fall to his thighs. He picked up the blanket on the ground and examined it now that he could see and focus clearly, it was a chestnut faux fur blanket. Tommy wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and around his front, an attempt to not draw attention to his skinny figure. He made his way out of the bathroom and back to the entry room, the sound of laughter and Tubbo jokingly singing echoes from the kitchen, Tom walked to the doorway of the kitchen. He leaned against the opening of the room and watched as Tubbo poured cake batter into a pan, Ranboo putting the egg carton back into the fridge, Techno was still in the same spot as before. Wilbur was now in the room, sitting next to Wilbur sharing a bag of popcorn with the guy with pink hair, Phil was standing by Tubbo waiting to put the pan into the oven. Once Tubbo gave Phil the pan with the cake batter in it, he saw Tommy standing in the doorway. His already smiling face lit up more, he turned to the bowl that they mixed the batter in, got some leftover batter on his finger, then turned and walked over to Tommy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Try it, its strawberly and chocolate." Tubbo held his index finger in front of Tommys face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tom smirked, "The fuck is strawberly Tubs?" Tubbo went straight faced and turned around looking at the baking station that had been made, after a few seconds of silence he turned his head back around smiling again. "Strawberry! Its strawberry." Tubbo yelled, he lowered his voice when he saw Tommy raise his eyebrows at his yelling, "Berry, sorry. It was berry." Tommy gave a cheeky smile, "Anyways, try it. Its super good!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is, surprised the two didn't inhale it before it got into the fridge." The sudden voice from Wilbur made Tommy jump, he looked over where Wilbur sat then back at Tubbo. He pulled the blanket tighter around him. "Please, it's not even that much." His brother whispered. Tommy untucked his hand from under the blanket and grabbed Tubbos wrist, he brought his brother's hand to his mouth and tasted the batter from Tubbos finger. Tubbo smiled, waiting for a reaction, Tommy gave an approving nod. "It's good Tubs." He tucked his hand back into the blanket, Tubbo smiled and walked to the table, then came back in front of his brother with the bag of takeout. Tommy took the bag, "Go sit at the table, after you eat you can make the cake pops with us!" Tommy walked over to the table and sat down across from Techno, he took out a five piece chicken nugget, small fries and dipping sauce. Wilbur was talking to Techno about a new song he was writing, Techno occasionally putting in his own input, Tubbo and Ranboo were cleaning up their mess with Phil. Tommy opened the chicken nugget box, he picked up what he saw as the smallest nugget and started to peel off the breading, discarding the breading into the lid of the box. "Cass, how much do you know about singing?" Wilbur poured a handful of white cheddar popcorn into his mouth, "I don't know." Tubbo flicked Tommy in the back of the head, "She's so good, she used to sing me to sleep whenever I had nightmares." Whenever Tubbo talks about Tommy he gets hyper, his hands move everywhere and his voice projects more. "Great, I need help with the song i'm writing," He shoves another handful of popcorn into his mouth and continues, "Ranboo and Techno are pure shit at calm singing. So you're going to help me. I would make Tubbo, but god knows that boy is going to sleep fast tonight after this sugar crash." Tommy nodded and went back to peeling and nibbling on the chicken nuggets, after five minutes Tubbo came up behind him and picked up a peeled nugget. He broke it in half and handed one to the blonde, Tubbo ate his half and leaned against Tommy's back, wrapping his arms around his brother. Tommy leaned back into the touch, Tubbo held Tommys wrist and brought the food to the others mouth, Tommy ate it while Tubbo started rocking themselves back and forth. Wilbur was babbling to Techno about school while Techno ate the popcorn one by one. Ranboo was by the counter with his phone, showing Phil different drawings he had made while they were gone. Tubbo occasionally picked up nuggets and fries and brought them to the tallers mouth, Tommy complying and eating the food, focusing on Tubbo humming the two's favorite song 'Take a Slice' by Glass Animals. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. I Spill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I won't even keep saying this.</p><p>This story is never edited or reread for errors. I write at night when I can't sleep. So my apologies &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy listened to the direction Phil gave him to his room, he refused to finish his food. Tubbo picked up the remaining contents of his brother's dinner and tossed them into the rubbish frowning at the amount of food leftover. Phil was helping Ranboo mold the cake and icing mixture into balls yet Tubbo didn’t join them, all he could do what stare.</p><p>
  <em> “Young lady!” Tommy and Tubbo snapped their heads towards the bedroom door. “Cass I have told you on multiple occasions that the sweets are for house members only! You are a guest in this home.” The old man snatched the cupcake out of the kids hand, glaring at the siblings on the bed. “And for you Tubbo, I thought so much better of you. Downstairs now young man!” The elder slammed the door and matched down the stairs, a string of vile curses seeping through the walls. Tubbo stood from his seat on the mattress as a reiteration of “I'm sorry's” spilled out of Tommy’s mouth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The house wreaked mold and smoke, the stairs barely held its own weight. Tubbo stood at the bottom of the stairs, shifting the weight of his body on his feet. The man scolded the boy for not watching the other kid close enough, about how Tubbo was supposed to be smart and follow the rules. “She hasn’t eaten well in weeks, sir.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That’s her problem then, not mine. Rules are rules, though you were trained better than this.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’ve made her track calories! She’s nine, sir. She can’t even read properly better yet know anything about weight or food. She doesn’t need to lose anything.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Look at you getting all tough buddy.” The man lit a cigarette, “That girl went to school and you didn’t, want to tell me why you think you know anything better than her? Do you think you’re better than me? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t say that, sir.” Tubbo analyzed the old man as he took a long drag, getting a face full of smoke blown into his face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Behind the smoke he held the cigarette out towards the kid, the young boy just stared at his hand then started to step backwards. “Listen here boy, you take a drag of this or I slit your fucking throat.” He stepped forwards again, the old wooden floorboard creaked underneath his weight. The eleven year old boy took the stick from the caretaker and hesitantly placed it between his lips. He inhaled the smoke quickly, taking it out of his mouth before coughing. “Out on your wrist now.” He stay leaned over coughing. He felt the object get taken out of his hand, then the excruciating burn on the inside of his wrist. The “brave” young boy had started to cry. </em>
</p><p>He felt something on his back, <em> the wall </em> and cold fingers laying overtop of his wrist where it burned and a loud ringing drowned him. Tubbo’s eyes tailed down his arm, the cold fingers, <em> his fingers </em> , moved away from his wrist. Two small but deep cuts bled where he felt the smoke burn, the slices had blood running down his arm. <em> When had he rolled his sleeves up? Oh right, he was baking. </em>Out of the blue, the ringing stopped and he could hear everything. Everything was loud, extremely loud, way too loud. He shot his hands up to his ears, pressing on his ears harshly, it felt like he could crush his own head.</p><p>--------</p><p>“Up the stairs and second door on the right. Bathroom is the door right across the hall. We will go over house rules tomorrow okay?” Tommy nodded and walked out of the kitchen after giving his brother a kiss on his head. The two oldest siblings were now sitting on the kitchen floor beside the table. Wilbur was on his knees behind Techno, loosely braiding the long pink hair that ran down his back. Techno was talking, or more so yelling, to Ranboo talking about a book Ranboo was reading.</p><p>“Tubbo told me he read it at an old group home. Right Tubbo?” Ranboo spun around to see that the short kid was zoned out leaning against the wall. “Tubbo?” He put down the cake he was holding and walked in front of the brunette, he tried snapping in his face to zone him back in but it did nothing. Phil turned around and brought his attention to the boy's hand that slowly crept it way too his wrist as his back slid down the wall. The father wiped his hands on a dish towel and discarded it onto the counter. He scooted past Ranboo and crouched next to him, he gently grabbed the kids hand to pull his nails away but Tubbo’s nails only dug deeper into his wrist and tears started to fall from his face. Blood started pooling in the indent his nails made.</p><p>“Hey Boo, go get me the red box in the upstairs bathroom okay?” Phil was calm, sending Ranboo to fetch the first aid so he didn't panic about the blood. “Wil, pretty sure he’s doing that whole zoning out blind harm thing. Can you deal with this? Since you used to do that?” Wilbur tied the end of his brother's braid then stood up off the ground, he made his way over to Tubbo on the floor. Phil stood up and watched as Tubbo seemed to slightly come back to reality, looking down at his wrist, moving his fingers and seeing the cuts. They were deeper than they first looked, once the boy lifted the pressure on the wound blood started to run out of the cut. </p><p>Wilbur went to touch the kids hand, but Tubbo flinched and brought his hands to cover his ears. Ranboo entered the room and handed Phil the box, then was led back out of the room by Techno, Wilbur motioned for Phil to leave with his sons. “Tubb-” Tubbo flinched again and whimpered at the loud sound of Wilbur's voice, even though Wil was speaking barely above a whisper. The taller male placed his larger hands on top of the kids, adding another layer to silence noise. He sort of hugged the small boy, placing his chin on this head. Wilbur sat like that, on the floor with Tubbo while the sun started to set behind the trees. He stayed quiet while Wilbur cleaned and wrapped his wrist. Tubbo observed the naked tree branches as they danced with the blowing wind, with the beautiful background of orange and silhouette of passing birds.</p><p>“You and your sister are already a handful eh?” Wilbur chuckled after deeming it okay to make noise, he finished the wrap on Tubbos' wrist.</p><p>“Can I tell you something Wilbur?”</p><p>“Go for it little man.”</p><p>“We’re kids.” He got a hum in response, “Cass is a kid too.” It stayed quiet. “We heard you talking in Sam’s office.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“Betting on Cass running.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“I'm not saying youre wrong. She’s going to run sooner or later. She won't make it far tho, since we don’t know this place, she’ll end up coming back.” Tubbo started picking at the skin around his nails.</p><p>He giggled, “Cass always tells me I trust people too easily. She wouldn’t want me telling you anything at all, because you scare her…... If you hate her because of what her files say then you’re stupid. All those damn papers and notes are bullshit, I've read them.” </p><p>“Not surprised. Though runners are stupidly hard to foster.”</p><p>“But you know what? It's scary. Wondering how much you have to run just to stay hidden from the monsters, everyone we’ve ever met has been a monster. May as well run before the new monsters attack. They pull and bite at your skin, they tear you apart until they are too disgusted by the damages they caused. Then they pass you on, but the more you get passed on, the more damages you get. The more unfixable you become. I’ve become a doll for the monsters. My fabric is all cut and dirty, my stuffing has been pulled out of me the more I've been passed on. Same with Cass.”</p><p>“Dolls can always be fixed, Tubbo. You just have to let someone help.”</p><p>“Im tired.”</p><p>“You can head to bed, lights out is in twenty minutes. Though i'm sure Ranboo will let you sleep early.”</p><p>“Okay.” Tubbo stood up, he stretched his arms and legs and yawned. “Night Wilb.”</p><p>“Wilb?” Wilbur cocked his head, still sat on the floor looking up at Tubbo. The boy smirked walking out of the kitchen, not forgetting the middle finger aimed towards the sitting man. Wil cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted with the mix of laughing, “You’re a little shit Tubbo!” He cleaned up the kitchen, putting the red box above the fridge, putting the cake mixture into a bowl and into the fridge and finally locking the back door. Wilbur went to his room and laid on his bed for the next twenty minutes. "Lights out, Goodnight kids!" Phil shouted from the bottom of the stairs. A short string of goodnights and I love you's got shouted back, the house went quiet again but a small "Goodnight" was whispered from the room next door. Wilbur knocked on the wall that was connected to the two rooms, the walls were quite thin.</p><p>"Wilbur?"</p><p>"Night Cass." There was no response, except for the same knock repeated back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER</p><p>SEXUAL ASSAULT / R4PE MENTION (no i wont add the rape tag)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tommy laid in his bed for hours, the clock aside the bed flickered 3:21 am. By this time he had memorized every crevice in the ceiling and the timing between each gust of wind that went through the trees. Tommy didn't try to sleep, it wouldn't come anyways. His body had gotten so used to the sleep pills so without them, the insomnia came back strong and became one of the roots of stress. Sure if he ate enough his insomnia would lessen, but that was an effect of his eating disorder and he knew it. He didn't care. Tommy's stomach felt too bloated for his liking, he pinched at the fat sitting on his lower stomach. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if I just cut it off?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He placed his hands back down onto the sheets below him, the thoughts happened a lot, but he never acted upon them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That would be stupid.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The boy sat up from the bed, tossing the sheets behind. He found it unusual to be in a room alone, while Tubbo slept with a complete stranger. It wasn't fair, it wasn't safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo trusted people too easily, Tommy never liked it. It had been a day and Tubbo was already hypnotized by this family, Tommy found it quite disgusting that his brother still let his guard down after everything. He got up from the bed and walked to the door. Of course he wasn't going to try and cut the fat off his stomach, but he desperately needed to do something. The thoughts, the fears, everything was overwhelming at times, no matter how many homes he had been too, he always left with another fear. Tubbo shared a room with Ranboo. Tommy had a mental list of everyone in the house, the Ranboo guy was tall and absolutely hyper. Hyper kids almost always had extreme anger issues that became physical in Tommy's experience, so he had an eye on that kid, especially since he was around Tubbo a lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno seemed good enough. It was scary knowing that he knew Tommy was transgender, so an eye is kept out in case blackmail came in the future. Techno did have a cool name, and cool hair. He also had a safe aura to Tommy, so maybe Techno was a safe bet. There is also Wilbur, or Wil. God that name wanted to make Tommy scream and cry, he didn't remember why that name scared him it just did. Wilbur seemed close to Techno but he also scared the fuck out of Tommy due to the guy not wanting him to be fostered, and the stupid glares that kept getting sent his way. Finally there was Phil, the dad. He didn't seem scary, but the nice ones are usually the worst. He didn't have a high opinion on the old man, just knew to watch for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy quietly opened his door, peeking outside the room. He didn't have a tour of the house completely, but he did know the bathroom was across the hall at the end, and where Wilbur's room was, next to his. He knew Tubbo left one of the bags downstairs by the bottom of the steps, the bag that had their cigarettes, edibles, and Tommy's wide variety of pills that not even Tubbo knew about. Tubbo had Tommy's testosterone shots, which Tubbo had yet to allow Tommy to use until he safely used his binder. Tubbo also had that with him. Tommy walked out of his doorway and across the hall into the dark bathroom. He locked the door behind him, went to the sink and splashed cold water onto his face. He looked at himself in the mirror, he took his hair out of the ponytail, the blonde hair sat at his shoulders, no longer pulled up to look shorter. He was surprised that he even passed at all as a man in public, to him, his physical appearance was too feminine. But Tubbo always rambled about how Tommy looked more masculine than him, and he believed that for the most part. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy opened the mirror door, then the drawers under the sink. Inside the drawer was nothing but hair ties, lotion, toothpaste, combs and a long box. He picked up the box and pulled off the lid, inside was a pair of hair shears. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Perfect. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Out of impulse, he snipped away at his hair. Just a small bit at the end, until he cut more and more until his hair fell just above his jaw. It was a shit cut for sure, but he smiled at it anyways. He scooped up the hair snips on the counter and brushed them into the small can in the corner of the room. He washed his hands and left the room, he went back to his room and laid in bed until the clock hit 6 am.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By 6:30 a light smell of coffee floated up the stairs, Tommy turned over and faced the wall, he pulled his blanket up over his head. He was so tired from not sleeping, yet he couldn't sleep, he didn't even want to think about being around food, after all he still felt too full from yesterday's meal. By 6:47 Wilbur could be heard leaving his room a few moments later walking downstairs with who he assumed was Techno, overhearing the two talking about braiding hairstyles. Around 6:53 another pair of feet made its way down the stairs followed by Tubbo dragging his feet, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy memorized his steps</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The conversation downstairs floated through the house. At 7:00 someone knocked on Tommy's door, “Hey kid, breakfast is at five. I need you to come down for rules and everything.” Phil waited for any to hear a sound of affirmation before walking away from the door, the older man walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen where Wilbur was mixing batter for pancakes, Techno was sitting at the end of the table writing in a green notebook, and Ranboo was setting the table with plates and cups. Phil walked into the kitchen and picked up the silverware, setting them on the table, “Alrighty, Tech what's your schedule for today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finish these notes, read unit 23 for English, unit 5 for calculus 3 and training at three tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can call Hbomb if you need help with the math. Boo, what's yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Umm analysis for The Giver, unit 8 in algebra, test for world history and then psychology notes.” Ranboo popped a strawberry into his mouth, “Oh yeah, can I go to the track with Callahan around noon?” Phil nodded his head, “Don’t talk with your mouth full please.” The middle child swallowed the food, “Sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wil, what are you doing today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's my school day off, so I was going to hangout with Fundy, Schlatt, Minx and Niki after breakfast. Then we are planning on meeting up with Halo, Karl, and Foolish and going to totem boys house around twelve. Ms. Puffy was thinking about doing a meeting today with some of us who have the day off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I want everyone home by 8 tonight, latest okay?” All three boys in the kitchen hummed in assent and went back to what they were doing. Techno read over the written notes, Wilbur started frying the batter to make pancakes, Ranboo stood next to the sink cutting strawberries and peaches. Phil took out apple juice, orange juice and water bottles from the fridge and placed them in the middle of the table, Wil placed two large plates with a tower of pancakes next to the drinks, and Ranboo put down two bowls of the chopped fruit. Tubbo came inside from the front yard holding a handful of rocks in a makeshift bowl at the bottom of his pajama shirt. The younger boy walked into the kitchen and stood over Techno, who looked at Tubbo than at the rocks. “Those are pretty Tubbo. Where’d those come from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the mailbox.” Tubbo dropped his shirt down and the rocks spilled out on the table, he picked up a dark green rock and held it out towards Techno. The older sibling took the rock and watched as the brunette picked up and observed each individual rock. After a minute Techno snapped his fingers in front of the boy's face, “We’re gonna eat, can you go put those back and wash up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I keep this one?” Tubbo picked up a small piece of slate, he bit the inside of his bottom lip, “Sure kid, go put the rest back.” He picked up the rest of the rocks, holding them in the same makeshift bowl and went back outside to discard the rocks. Wilbur and Ranboo sat down at their seats, the Brit sat to the right of Techno who sat at the end near the backdoor. Ranboo sat on the left of the rose haired man. Each boy took their share of pancakes and fruits for topping, as well as their drinks. Tubbo came back inside and washed his hands in the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind reminding Cass it's time for breakfast please Tubbo?” Phil took his seat next to Wilbur and Tubbo nodded while smiling. He dried his hands off with the kitchen rag and raced up the stairs, skipping steps. He slowly walked up the final step and down the hall towards his brother's room. It was oddly quiet upstairs, he stood outside the door pressing his ear against the wood. All he heard was shallow breathing coming from inside, he twisted the knob and pushed the door open. The room was still bare, Tommy hadn’t unpacked anything from his bag at all. Tommy was sitting on the floor next to his bed, knees pulled up to his chest and arms crossed around his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey hey, Toms. Tommy, hey it’s Tubbo. Tommy.” Tubbo rushed over and kneeled in front of his younger brother, lowering his head to try and get into view range for the other, knowing to not touch him unless he knew who was in the room. Tommy looked up at Tubbo but stayed quiet other than his shallow breathing. He was dissociated, not able to register anything that was happening around him other than he was cold and couldn’t breathe. “T- tub-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah Tommy, i'm right here okay? Nobody else, just me, I promise. You're okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cold, i- im cold. Cold, I'm cold.” Tubbo leaned over and snagged the blanket that was laying on the mattress behind Tommy’s head, trying to ignore the way his brother flinched. He wrapped the blanket around Tommy’s shoulders and around his front. He then sat down on the younger side, pulling the blonde towards him to lay against his side. Tubbo just repeated words of comfort while Tommy slowly came back to reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-------</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was cold. So cold- oh yeah. The window was open. The window was open wide because he had just snuck outside. He was outside, right. And his hands hurt because he was climbing back inside the window. It was ten at night, he had snuck out and now here he was, a fourteen year old sneaking back into his group home because he got lonely. Everyone else was at the movies but he got in trouble so he couldn’t go. He got into his room, not many scrapes as last time on his palms.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You never learn do you.” The voice scared him, he quickly turned around to the door and saw one of the younger staff standing there with a sick smirk on his face. “Seriously Cass, I’m barely older than you and even I know sneaking out is stupid.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You're seventeen, I'm fourteen. There's a difference.” The man walked in front of Tommy and pulled him closer by the waist, glaring his eyes. “I’d watch your mouth if I were you Cass.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My name is Tommy, not Cass you dic-” The man tightened his grip on Tommy’s waist. Tommy tried to push his hand away, but that just made the grip even tighter. “You prick, stop that.” The hand left his waist, but his face was greeted with a hard slap, then a tight hold on his cheeks. “I said i’d watch my mouth if I were you. Guess you never listen huh? You need to be taught eh?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Warm hands started to touch his body, everywhere. His body was cold from the open window, the coldness made the warm touches too noticeable. Any and all pleads were ignored, and by the end of the night bruises littered his neck, face, hips, waist and legs. “I had no choice, my love, you have to understand this was to get you to listen to the rules.” He littered his face with kisses, then Tommy was carried into the bathroom and put into the tub. He cried in the water, but the man was still there, washing his hair for Tommy, “You're okay Cass, I’m right here.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The man was moved to a different group home to work three weeks later, and two months later they got chosen by Phil to be fostered. Tommy wasn’t ready to be with another man older than him, who was also named William.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>--------</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ranboo had finished his plate of food and apple juice, Techno was on his second plate and Wilbur was slowly munching away on his fruit bowl. “Dad, it's been twenty minutes. Shouldn’t someone go see if they are coming to eat?” Ranboo looked at Phil who was making the two foster boys plates so they didn’t miss out on the food. “They will come. My guess is that Cass had a panic attack of some sort and Tubbo is dealing with it.” Philza popped a grape into his mouth as he cut a slice to put on Tubbos plate, “We don’t need to go try and help if we aren't called, they don’t trust us fully yet.” The boy with split hair hummed in acknowledgement and went to clean off his dish. Phil continued to place the fruits on the pancake plates while taking bites of his own food. Techno finished writing his notes as he ate and Wilbur just sat and observed, like always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile upstairs Tommy had calmed down and snuggled more into Tubbos side, the two sat in comfortable silence for a while. “Im late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Tubbo moved his head to rest his chin on the blonde's head. “Im late.” Tommy said again but much quieter. “Where’s your calendar?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Downstairs in the bag.” Tubbo squeezed his brother in a half hug before standing up and going downstairs to retrieve the calendar. He slipped down the steps and kneeled by the bag that laid next to the front door. “Hey Tubbo, you guys coming down?” He grabbed the mini calendar out of the bag and walked over to the kitchen entryway. “Can I bring Cass her food upstairs? She’s a little anxious to eat down here right now. I promise we will come down for rules after she eats through.” Phil just smiled and held up two plates that had 3 pancakes each, a small container of syrup and fruit on the side. Tubbo took the plates and thanked the man, and went back upstairs to his brother's room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He handed Tommy his plate of food on the floor and took a seat across from him. He opened the calendar this month and looked at the marks. Tommy was supposed to get his period about three weeks ago. Tubbo just stared at the calendar as Tommy picked at his nails.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you could be pregnant, or just lost your period due to your eating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to decrease my calories to lose my period. Remember, that's what the doctor said when I was impatient. Because i'm still eating enough calories.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it still could've gone away because you've lost weight crazy fast. Have you’ve had morning sickness, spotting or cramping or breast pain? Like tenderness or soreness?” Tommy pushed the plate of food away and brought himself back into the ball position. “Tommy I need you to work with me okay? Just say yes or no okay? Im sorry, I know you don’t want to think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, yes, yes, yes. Can I have my binder back please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toms, that could be dangerous.” Tubbo closed the calendar and placed it on top of the dresser. “Please Tubbo. It feels gross.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After we go down for rules, okay, i’ll figure something out.” Tubbo stood up and reached his hand out to his brother. Tommy took the hand and stood up, he followed the older out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen where everyone was. Phil was doing the dishes, Techno and Ranboo had textbooks and notebooks in front of themselves and Wilbur had a laptop and a paper that was littered with notes. Tubbo and Tommy sat themselves at the table and waited for Phil to acknowledge their presence. Phil turned to the table and saw the boys doing their school, and the brothers playing a game of thumb wars he grinned brightly, “Alright boys, ready for the household rundown?” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it took a bit longer for this to come out, i got stuck lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Pull back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>CW // confrontation - serious talk</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>FYI // Chapter titles don't have anything to do with the entire chapter unless it has " ~ " in front</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/18syhW-Ikywx7QnahFti0m11MaDdw0VL7fSDUWFMG3lo/edit?usp=sharing">Info Doc</a>
</p><p>Phil sat and stood leaning over the island, all the kids sat at the kitchen table all attention on the elder in the room. “So , basic house rules. Nothing verbal or physically harmful unless it's in play. In the near future you two kids will see Techno rough housing with Will and Techno.” Phil didn’t miss the mild flinch that came from Tommy, neither did Tubbo. “It’s all in fun. They boys know when the play goes too far, if at anytime something goes too far it's voiced out. Taking anything of someone else's isn’t tolerated. You have free range of the kitchen, if you need to use the stove I ask that you get someone to sit in here with you.” Phil took his phone from his pocket, “Okay, I have a work call. Boys-” He scanned his pointer finger at his three sons,”Go over the rest of the rules please.” Phil stood up straight and walked out of the kitchen to his office.</p><p>Ranboo was the first to speak up. “No drugs, no smoking anything at all. For one you two are only fourteen and it's not legal until eighteen. Dad doesn’t like secrets, no secrets of any type, not even partners.” Tubbo’s face became puzzled, “Are you gay?” Wilbur choked on his own spit and Techno just burst out laughing. “Oh um, I don’t date anyone.” Tubbo just nodded his head, face going back to neutral. “But it’s fine if you are Tubbo! And Cass. Nobody here cares.” Ranboo stumbled over his words and spoke quickly, thinking he already messed up with the two siblings.</p><p>“Okay Boo shut up.” Wilbur Closed his laptop, “You can date whoever, just ask if you can bring someone over. No sex in the house, you're kids so you shouldn’t do that anyways. And absolutely no shit to Phil. Complain about someone else to another sibling in this house, not Phil. He’s usually working.” Wilbur soot up, went over to the fridge and picked up a notepad that was hanging, he walked back over to the table and dropped the notes in front of Tommy. “That has everyone's boundaries and personal rules. Why don’t you read them out-loud?”</p><p>Tommy opened the notes, not much was written. “Techno, don’t go in his painting room and don’t touch his swords or knives without permission.” He looked up at Techno with a giant grin, “You have swords and knives? Really?” Techno nodded, Tommy went back to the notes, “Will-” He flinched again at the name coming from his own mouth, “Don’t bring up his biological family, don’t touch anything in his room without permission, and don’t be invasive. Ranboo, don’t jump-scare, don’t take his clothes and don’t mess with any projects.” Tommy closed the notepad and leaned back in the hair, “That it?” WIlbur picked up Ranboo’s pencil and tossed it over to the two kids, “Next two pages, write your rules and boundaries.” Tubbo picked up the pencil and the papers, he flipped over to the next clear pages and started writing his own.</p><p>Tubbo</p><p>-Don’t hurt my family</p><p>-Don’t take my things</p><p>-Don’t hide my things</p><p>He looked over to Tommy and watched as his brother leaned away from the notepad. Tubbo flipped to the next page and wrote for Tommy.</p><p>Cass</p><p>-Don’t mess with their cleaning</p><p>-Don’t touch them without permission.</p><p>He closed the notes and moved them over to Wilbur who put them back on the fridge. Techno stood up, closing his textbook and notebook. “Okay come on Will and Boo, driving y'all to town square so you can get with your buddies. I have to go to the library.” All of the older kids picked up their things and started to head out of the kitchen, grabbing their things. Before the three left the house Techno shouted to the kids in the kitchen, “Phil will be out in a bit, remote for the living room Tv is on the couch.” And with that, the three older boys left the house, leaving the brother sitting in the kitchen.</p><p>Tommy stood up from his chair, “I'm going to go watch TV.” He left Tubbo in the kitchen, he sat there for a while looking outside the glass back-doors. He heard the Tv in the living room turn on, and after a small bit Phil’s office door opened. The man appeared in the kitchen doorway, “Did they boys leave already?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, Techno said something about the town square” Phil sat down in the seat next to Tubbo, “What's up with you Tub-mister?”</p><p>“Do you think Techno could stop at the shop on his way home?”</p><p>“I’m sure I could text him for you. What do you need?”</p><p>“I was wondering if I could call him and ask.” Phil hummed in response and pulled his phone out from his back pocket. He unlocked the phone and pulled up Techno’s contact, the phone was handed off to the kid. Phil stood up, “I'll go see what Cass is up too.” Tubbo was left in the kitchen alone, once again. He pressed the phone symbol on the contact information, he put the phone up to his ear. The phone rang for a bit before a monotone voice picked up on the other end. “Hey dad, I just got to the Bullmar plaza.”</p><p>“Um, hey Techno it's Tubbo.”</p><p>“Oh hey kid, what’s up?” Tubbo cleared his throat, <em> Techno is trusted, Techno can be trusted. </em> “I was wondering if you could go to the shop and pick something up for me.”</p><p>“Yeah, I can stop before I get home. What do you need?”</p><p>“Can you buy a hcg test? I- I’ll even pay you back whenever I get the cash. I just don’t know this area well enough to go out a buy-”</p><p>“Woah woah, slow down bud. An hcg test? You talking about a pregnancy test?” Tubbo didn’t respond, his heart already pounding too fast for his liking. “Yeah, that. It’s not for me I swear. That would also be impossible because I don’t have...yeah.”</p><p>“It’s for Tommy, got it” Techno sounded cautious and confused. “Listen Tubbo, I can’t give you guys anything like that when Tommy hasn’t told anyone about being trans. I’ll buy it to have in stock, but I cannot give it to you until he comes out.”</p><p>“What if I just tell Phil for him? Then he can just take the test and everything will be okay.” Techno gave a heavy sigh on the other end, “You cannot out him to someone. It’s bad enough that you outed him to me, and terrible that I acted like it was nothing. But you have to let him feel safe enough to do it.”</p><p>Tubbo mumbled a variety of curses, “Whatever, thank you.” Tubbo hung up on the guy.</p><p>--------</p><p>Techno had dropped off his brothers in the town square, Ranboo meeting up with Callahan outside the Hollow Crown Cafe and Wilbur meeting up with his friend group near the pond. After dropping his brother off he made his way to the next town over where the main library was located. He was going to see his childhood friend Niki Nihachu at the library where she volunteered. It was a normal ritual where he would hang out at the building for a bit, then give the girl a lift to training. Niki would then come over and stay the night at the Watson household, helping Ranboo with literature and messing around with the kids while baking sweets.</p><p>He put his phone back down on the arm rest console, deciding to not question the phone call with the younger boy. He pulled into the library, through the main window he saw his friend sorting books on the shelves. Techno got out of the car making sure to lock the doors and went inside the building. Sitting at the front desk was the head of the library, Ms.Iris.</p><p>“Welcome back Techno, haven’t seen you in a hot minute. How have you’ve been honey?” </p><p>“Hey Iris, I'm doing good, just here to hang with Niki then bring her to training.” The old lady clapped her hands, “That’s exciting! I was talking to that young lady about buying a new viking sword.”</p><p>“Yeah she's been all about one that she saw had snake engravings on the handle.” Techno handed Iris his ID so he could have access to the back room, she scanned the ID and handed it back to him, “I’ll send her back after she finishes her cart.” Techno nodded and walked past the front desk and into the back staff room.</p><p>He sat on his phone for around an hour, scrolling through twitter and playing mobile games. Techno looked at the top of his phone to check the time, 1:56 pm. The door opened and Niki walked in with a small stack of children's books , her hair fell short at her shoulders and her bangs sitting right under her eyebrows. Her hair was dyed brown in the back and blonde in the bangs. She made her way past Techno and over to a bucket that was in the corner, “Tell me why they decide to make a kids book for girls teaching them to cover up, This has got to be the worst book of the week.” </p><p>“Seriously? A kids book? Don’t get me wrong, that shouldn't even be a thing girls get taught. But a kids book?” Niki plopped the books into the box and turned around to face the man, “Right! I’m so sick of this world Tech.” He laughed and stood up from the lounge chair, he opened his arms and Niki threw herself into them. He hugged the shorter girl while she giggled into his chest, “I love these birthday hugs.” Techno lightly smacked the back of his friend's head, “Whatever, happy 19th birthday.” </p><p>The two sat in the back room for a bit, enjoying company and drinking coffee. Once it was 2:30 the two headed out of the building and into Techno’ car, making sure to give Iris a cup of coffee on their way out. Niki buckled her seat-belt and plugged her phone into the aux cord, even though the man wasn't a fan of the girls music taste, he put up with it every time, occasionally singing a song that came up. They drove back to their town, Mirstone. Techno pulled into the local pharmacy and turned off the car. He turned in his seat and stared at Niki, who was replying to tweets. She felt a stare being held on her, she slowly looked up from her phone and looked at her friend, “May I help you good sir?” she giggled.</p><p>“I need a favor.” She gave him a death glare, “I’m not picking up drugs for you.”</p><p>“What? No I got clean of those two years ago, idiot.” </p><p>She held her hands up in defense with a smile, “Okay okay. What ya need me to buy?”</p><p>He pulled money out from his wallet, “Can you go in and buy two clear blues? Please?”</p><p>“Those are pregnancy tests right?” Techno nodded, “I’ll do it if I can cook dinner tonight.” Techno rolled his eyes and pushed the money into Niki’s hand, “You always cook dinner. Thank you Niki.” The girl smirked as she exited the car and walked into the store.</p><p>--------</p><p>Around 6 pm Techno dropped Niki off at Foolish’s house after training, then picked Ranboo up to head home. Wilbur and his group made their way to the house after messing around town. Puffy held a questionnaire during a counseling session for the kids in Mirstone. Mirstone was a small town, everyone knew everyone else, each kid was friends with one another. Each kid was close to one another,  it was unusual for a high schooler to hangout with younger kids everyday, but in Mirstone it was normal.</p><p>Most of the kids in the town had a troubled past, almost everyone coming from the system. It was common when one of the kids had depression or anxiety, came from an abusive past or no past at all. Though there's a first for everything when new kids come to town. Puffy’s questionnaire would hold questions on how they’d been doing, questions on their relapse or drug usage, their eating habits or flashbacks. It was a way to make sure the kids were okay, but due to every kid getting help at a very young age, they were easier to help, and understood how to be okay.</p><p>The teenagers sat in the living room, talking about music, some of their training and other hobbies the others have partaken in. Puffy had made them all hot chocolate or green tea, as well as dark chocolate cookies. The mother of course made Wilbur eat half a cookie, but let him be with his water. She was proud of him for listening to her about his eating disorder, even if it was a small step.</p><p>She took the kids one by one into her personal office to give them their question papers, each taking only about ten minutes. Minx and Karl didn’t participate in today's meeting with Puffy, neither did Niki since they had been showing progress they didn’t need as often meetings.</p><p>Puffy led Wilbur into the office making sure to have the boy keep the door open a crack. She handed Will a sheet of paper with the questions, “Go ahead and read them out loud and answer out loud too, yeah?”</p><p>“I thought I just write the answers down?”</p><p>“I'm just interested in hearing your thought process if that's okay. Your answers last week were very bland compared to everything else.” So he read out the questions, ranging from what he was doing in school to the new improvements to his hobby, which was music. “How are your eating habits - they're good, I've been getting better.”</p><p>“How so? What foods have you eaten out of your comfort zone?” </p><p>“I was eating popcorn with Techno last night, while the new kids were getting settled in.”</p><p>“What have you eaten today Will?”</p><p>“I had a bowl of fruit for breakfast, the berries I picked the other weekend.”</p><p>“Alrighty.” She scribbled on her clipboard, “Read and answer that last question for me.”</p><p>“What is on your mind at this very moment?” He looked at the mother, “How tired I am, I wanna go home and sleep Puffy.”</p><p>“Mmm your family does get up pretty early eh? What else is up hun, it's obvious you're stressed about something. You're allowed to ramble now.”</p><p>“It's just….well Ranboo has been so stressed about trying to make the two new kids feel comfortable, so he hasn’t regressed in over two weeks, since once he was told we were fostering them he tried to act more mature than normal. I thought he was regressed a bit when he and Tubbo made a cake- oh yeah, they made cake pops on their first night. Anyways, he was laughing and running around everywhere, and looked far too small when he saw Tubbo having a panic attack or something. It's stressful when he refuses to let himself regress because he just looks more exhausted.”</p><p>“Have you talked to him about it? Or spoken to Phil?”</p><p>“Yea, I told him how I was concerned, Ranboo has been refusing to come into my room to listen to me play guitar so he wouldn't regress. Phil just said to give it time, but it's been two weeks, and he gets stressed easily.”</p><p>“Okay, what else is troubling you? What about Techno?”</p><p>“Techno’s fine, he’s been coping with training for awhile. Why doesn't he come to these meetings?</p><p>“He told me he wanted to try and do things alone for a bit, try and figure things out by himself. I trust him enough to tell someone if something happens, physically or mentally.”</p><p>“Oh well yeah. He’s gotten good at training, he even started teaching some others, did you know that? The boy, Tubbo, has warmed up pretty well, or at least doesn't have as high of a guard as his sister. He is sweet, him and Ranboo have gotten along pretty well. Cass though, I have no read on her. She's super hesitant about everything, Tubbo wanted her to try the cake batter and he had to whisper and shit to her for a moment to get her to try it. I guess she's also super anxious about eating in front of us, because she ate upstairs this morning.”</p><p>Puffy listened to Wilbur ramble about his concerns with the new kids, but also the things he had observed, like Cass’s new haircut that quote on quote ‘Looked like shit.’ After minutes of chatting away about the events of the past week, Wilbur went back out to the living room with everyone else. They sang songs together and some of them went around the house to decorate with false autumn leaves. After an hour everyone started to start their trail back home, Karl, Halo and Fundy leaving together, Minx and Schlatt walking home together. Wilbur and Niki traveled their way to the Watson house.</p><p>“So, are you making dinner tonight or is it Ranboo?”</p><p>“Of course I am, I had your dad go out and buy ingredients to make stir-fry. I haven’t seen my lovely friend in a few days, so I'm making his favorite!” Wilbur tossed his head back and groaned, “Oh for the love of god get that boy to regress tonight. It's stressing me out how long he's been refusing.”</p><p>“Purposefully putting it off?” Wilbur nodded, “He doesn’t want to regress when we are dealing with new kids.” The two walked the rest of the way home in silence.</p><p>--------</p><p>“Niki’s Home!” Wilbur shouted as he entered the house, kicking his shoes off at the front door. Ranboo came running out from Techno’s painting room, he launched himself onto Niki. She laughed as she rocked the boy back and forth, Ranboo pulled away, he took the girls hand and dragged her into the living room. </p><p>“Tubbo, Tubbo this is Nihachu, she's Techno’s best friend ever!” Ranboo was bouncing and rocking on his feet. Tubbo just smiled and waved at the girl, he didn’t have the energy to speak. The taller boy pulled on Niki’s wrist again and pulled her into the paint room, Techno was standing in front of a canvas brushing multiple different shades of red all over the white. Tommy was sitting on the desk behind the painter. Tommy had asked Techno to see the paint room, Techno then decided to paint something small for the younger kid to put up in his room.</p><p>The older man looked up from the canvas and over at the two who had entered the room, Ranboo was still holding Niki’s wrist, but he was now swinging their arms together. “Hey bud, hold her hand, not her wrist.” Techno pointed his paintbrush at his brother's hand. Ranboo quickly let go of her wrist and put his hand at his side, Niki interlocked her hand with his and started swinging them again, making the buoy start rocking on his feet again.</p><p>Tommy was swinging his legs and trying to keep his focus on the paint. He didn’t feel like looking at whoever the new person in the house was, so he kept his eyes away. Ranboo was rambling away, Niki and Tecno giving the occasional response to his story. Tommy had gotten distracted after ten minutes by a sand platform. He glanced at the others in the room to see if he was being watched, he looked back at the sand. He picked up a miniature rake that was sitting beside the platform and started to push it through the sand. He dragged the rake and made several designs out of the lines that the rake left behind. </p><p>Ranboo started to mess around with the paint brushes that weren’t being used. Dipping the bristles into the paint Techno had out and painted on the table. Techno didn’t mind, the table was a wreck, covered in pain and hot glue, but after a while Ranboo started to attempt to paint on the canvas Techno was using. “Hey bud, i’m using this one, you can't do that.” The pink haired boy gently took the brush away from the younger, he pouted but didn’t try to take it back. “Hey Niki, wanna take him back to his room?” Techno ruffled the split dyed hair, “You wanna go upstairs and color with Niki?” Ranboo shook his head, Niki gasped jokingly. “You don’t want to color with me? I’m so sad!” The boy giggled and plopped himself on the ground, next to where his brother was standing. Niki looked down at him confused, “What do you wanna do baby?”</p><p>“I am not a baby Nihachu, I am grown.” He pouted his face and crossed his arms, “I’m watching Tech paint.” Techno put his brush down and crouched in front of his brother, “I think little boys would like to go sit in the kitchen while a certain someone makes food.” He gave a playful shocked face. “Teecchhhhh, i’m not regres-”</p><p>“Niki would let her baby boy taste test.”</p><p>“Techie sto-”</p><p>“And I bet that Tubbo would want to color with you after dinner too.”</p><p>Ranboo whined at his brother’s antics, he put his head into his hands and leaned over his lap. Niki laughed quietly and rubbed the boys back and Techno stood up. Niki leaned in and whispered into the kids ear, “I bet daddy will let you get your toys from his room.” Ranboo raised his head and looked at Niki, he took his hand out from under him and tugged on his hair unknowingly. The girl swatted at his hand, “Nu uh, we don’t do that darling. Come on stand up, let's go see where daddy’s at.” She pulled the boy up off the floor and let him drag her out of the room.</p><p>Techno closed the door after the two exited, he turned around to see Tommy’s focus on something on the desk. He walked over to look over the kids shoulder and saw him making circles in the zen garden. “Tommy?” He got no response other than the kid making circles. Techno debated between tapping him on the shoulder or leaving him be, but he knew he had to talk to him about the conversation with Tubbo. He went back over by the door and flickered the lights a few times, until Tommy turned around. “You good Blade?”</p><p>“Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about somethin-”</p><p>“HEY CASS, COME HERE FOR A MINUTE.” Techno watched as the kid tensed at the yelling, “Tommy, chill okay. It’s just Phil. He’s an old man, he doesn’t like walking.” Tommy raised his eyebrows in amusement at the joke Techno had made. “Go on. He called you from the stairs.”</p><p>--------</p><p>Phil had retrieved Tubbo from his room where he was brushing Ranboo’s hair while Niki was in the kitchen making dinner. He brought his son into the kitsch to stay with Niki and asked for Tubbo to go into his office so he could have a chat with him and Cass. He yelled for Cass at the bottom of the stairs after Tubbo had already made himself comfortable in his office.</p><p>Tommy walked out of the book room and saw Phil standing in the opening into the back hall. “Hey love, I wanna have a chat with you and Tubbo before dinner in my office.” Phil made his way into the work room and Tommy followed. Tubbo was laying on the couch across the door, cracking his knuckles out of boredom, Tommy walked in and sat himself down by Tubbo’s feet. The older scooted down further and laid his feet on top of the blondes legs.</p><p>“I know you’ve both probably heard this a large amount of times, but I want you two to know that you’re safe here. If you believe it or not. Nobody in this house, and nobody in this town is here to hurt you or out to get you. Everyone in this town has their own problems.”</p><p>Tommy grumbled, “doubt that shit.” Phil tilted his head at the kid, “You doubt that everyone here has their own problems?” Tommy just shrugged. The man crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, “Do you want to make a deal Cass?”</p><p>“Sure. Do I get money?”</p><p>“No but you get information. Like an information trade.”</p><p>“Sounds boring.” Tommy grumbled. Tubbo raised his hand, “Can I use the bathroom first” Phil nodded and the boy left the room.</p><p>“Okay cut the shit big man, the hell do you want?”</p><p>“I'm sorry? I don’t want anything, just to ask a few things.” Tommy sat in silence until Tubbo came back. </p><p>--------</p><p>“Alright kids, information trade yeah?” Tubbo nodded while Tommy stayed glaring. “Go on, ask me a question and then you guys can answer mine.</p><p>The blonde shuffled in his spot, “How are we supposed to trust that you are supposed to be-” he made quote making with his fingers, “-the one.” Tubbo smacked his brother's upper arm. Phil stood up straight from his position on the wall, “Why don’t you trust me? Tubbo I want to hear from you first.”</p><p>Tubbo looked at Tommy then back to the man, “I- I do trust you Phi-, sir. I do.” Phil shook his head slowly, “No you don't kiddo. Trust me I don’t blame you, but I want to know why.”</p><p>“Well um, I guess just being afraid of being hit-”</p><p>“I'm not going to hit you.” Phil cut the boy off, “Yeah, that's what they all say.” Tommy mumbled, rolling his eyes. Phil pointed his finger “Have I hit you since you’ve been here?” The kids shook their heads. “Keep going.”</p><p>“I- I don’t know.”</p><p>“Alright then, Cass?” Tommy raised his eyebrows, “Getting burned.”</p><p>“Burned, like punishment burned?” Phil scrunched his eyebrows together.</p><p>“Well duh.” Tommy hunched forwards and started talking with his hands, “Like cigarette burns, or- or even what is it.” He snapped his fingers, “boiling water or stuff like hot coffee. That stuff hurts. That's all”</p><p>“Okay, i’m going to say a list of things that I will never do, would that be easier?” The boys nodded once again. “I will never lay a finger on you to punish you, you have free reign of the kitchen meaning if you want food you are allowed to take food. I will not burn you that's just...no, never will happen. You will never be physically harmed for a punishment.”</p><p>Tubbo put his hand up again, “Yes Tubbo?”</p><p>“You won’t ...force us to do anything, right?”</p><p>“Things like what?”</p><p>“The things we don’t want to do, in the beds.” Tubbo bit at his lower lip. “No, I will never do anything to violat-” Tommy jumped up from his spot on the sofa, “I'm tired, I’m going to bed.”</p><p>Phil scooted himself to stand in front of the door, “Sit down Cass.” Tommy crossed his arms, “I'm tired Phil.”</p><p>“We aren’t done talking Cass. I’m asking you to sit down.”</p><p>“Or what? You said you weren’t going to hit me.”</p><p>“I will never lay and hand on you my dear.”</p><p>Tommy paused and took a step back, “Don’t call me that”</p><p>“Okay, I'm sorry. But I need you to stay in here and talk. I’m trying to give you two a break for once in your life!” The blonde scoffed and pushed past the man, he stormed out of the room. Phil groaned, “Tubbo stay here.” He followed the kid outside of the room, “Cass this was meant to be a civil conversation.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t stop walking, didn't even turn around, “That went well. Didn’t it?”</p><p>“Young lady, please don’t talk to me like that right now.”</p><p>Tommy reached the stairs and turned to face Phil, “Stop calling me that, for fuck sake Phil. STOP DOING THAT!” The two stood facing each other, Tommy was tapping his hands against his thighs to try and calm himself down. Phil still kept that calm sympathetic look on his face, “Stop calling you what?”</p><p>“I didn’t mean to sa-”</p><p>“Kiddo what have I called you?”</p><p>“Phil please just forget about i-”</p><p>“Don’t call you young lady and dear? Stop calling you lady? Do you want me to stop referring to you as a lady?”</p><p>“Phil-”</p><p>Since he wasn't getting an answer, to be the man he was he tested, “Cass, I need a real answer hun.” And it happened.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now listen, Tommy didn't mean for this </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. You Fucking snitch ~</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING</p><p>this chapter talks about drug addiction! Also another serious type talk? (This whole story is full of them so please remember this from now on) &lt;33</p><p>once again, this entire story is unedited, so this chapter will probably have typos and grammar mistakes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>He never meant for anything to happen. Everything, he didn’t mean for it to happen. Mistakes get him killed, he keeps making mistakes, why can’t he stop.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next thing you know there was blood pooling into the hands of what once was a man who held sympathy on his face. That same man somehow now held the look of curiosity, along with pain due to the bleed</span>
  <span>. It was confusing to the teenager, why the guy he had just punched multiple times wasn’t hitting him back. There was no punishment happening to him, if it were another place he would have definitely gotten hit until he was black and blue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was blood sitting on his knuckles. Cold liquid that had come from the fathers nose, he could feel it slowly drying on his hand. Tommy blocked out the commotion around him, he wiped over his knuckles with his opposite hand. The red transferring itself onto his fingertips, he wiped his fingers along his palms slowly, watching as the crimson drew across his skin. He kept rubbing at the blood on his skin, he wanted it off, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he needed it off</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rubbed and he scratched until you couldn't determine where the blood covering the rest of his skin was coming from. He didn’t stop until black cotton gloves were forced over his hands, masking the red and bringing him out of his trance. His hands hurt, they burned and stung but they were covered, so it was okay. His eyes stayed on his hands, too scared to look up at the guy he had hurt, whose blood covered his hand. Surely they were just waiting for him to look up and look at the shit he caused. They had to have been waiting to guilt him for what he had done, for him not letting the family be happy, for not letting Tubbo finally be okay in a home he was happy with. All those promises that had been spoken in the office would be broken, for a good reason, he had done harm to someone, how could he be so stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki came back into the main room with a wet cloth and handed it to Wilbur who was attempting to get his words through the kid. There was a good amount of blood scattered on the floor in front of the stairs, and a little less on the step in front of Tommy. “Any luck?” she spoke gently towards the taller. He shook his head and sighed, “How long has it been?” She pulled her phone out from her back pocket, “forty-five since the punch, thirty since the gloves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two watched as the younger kid just stared at their hands with no other movement. Wilbur took the wet rag and started wiping at the floor, grimacing as the blood soaked through the cloth. “How the hell was that girl able to punch that hard, especially with how small she is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t Ranboo do the same thing when he got questioned about his regression?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t even punch hard enough to leave a bruise. Plus we know why he threw the punch, he was scared of being hurt for regressing. We don’t know why Cass did this, especially multiple times.” Wil stood up with the soaked rag and went to the kitchen to rise it out. Niki observed Tommy, every small movement, she watched the way Tommy’s eyes darted around at different spots on his hand, the small shifts in weight and the way his breath hitched every few moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tubbo whispered short words of reassurance as he pulled his fingers out of his brother's mouth. The personal bathroom reeked, any sane person would have left the room by now. The boy rubbed Tommy’s back as he threw up from his brothers fingers being forced down his throat. The two were in the school's family bathroom, usually blocked off for the staff use only, but somehow Tubbo had found the younger inside, crying with two tablet bottles next to him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That would be the first time Tubbo had to force his brother to throw up pills he tried to overdose on. He was always scared it would never be the last, and he was right. The same night Tommy had gotten ‘punished’ by the guy at the group home, Tubbo was once again by his side in the bathroom, forcing his fingers down the blondes throat. The next morning was spent in the hospital with Sam since the vomiting wasn't very successful.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>--------</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki continued to cook the stir-fry for dinner, Ranboo sat at the kitchen table coloring on notebook paper, and Tubbo sitting on the stairs leaning against the blonde after he got the other to lower himself on the wooden steps, letting his brother play with his hands while still being zoned out while Techno stood by. Wilbur had taken Phil back into the office to clean his father up of the blood covering his hand and running down his arm. The office trash can was to the brim with soaked tissues and old papers that had come in contact with the blood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shuffled through stacks of papers sitting on the desk, “They’ve been here for two days Phil. So much has happened in these two days, why did you have to go and trigger her into punching you?” Phil pulled a folder off the bookshelf and tossed in onto the desk in front of his son, “I assume it's obvious Cass doesn’t like being referred to as Cass anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur flipped through the pages inside the folder, going through the medical files, school files, and personal files. He flipped through the foster home notes and group home papers until he found a yellow note with reasoning's for putting Tommy back into the group home. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Refused to wear dresses or blouses I spent my money on, stopped listening to her name and wore a binder behind my back. Gave Tubbo back since he let Cass wear his clothing. This behavior was revolting. I hope their behavior gets cleaned up in the near future.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Phil took the paper once Wilbur finished reading, “Go get Tubbo.”</span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur left the office and walked into the main room at a slow pace, watching as Techno braided his own hair and Tubbo rambled to him. Tommy was now leaning on Tubbo’s shoulder, Tubbo occasionally swatting at the younger's hands when he would go and mess with the gloves. “Hey kiddo, can you come talk to Phil and I for a second?” Tubbo turned around and gave him a nod, he stood up after rubbing Tommy’s thigh as comfort. He followed Wilbur into the back hallway and into the office room where Phil sat in his chair, flipping through and reading more notes in the files. The two caught the attention of the older man as they closed the door and took their own seats. “Can I ask you questions about the files without you walking out?” Tubbo nodded at the man and sunk back into the couch he was sitting on two hours earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What's up with Cass and the whole name and title issue?” The kid cocked his head to the side, “I don’t understand.” Phil held out the note Wilbur had read out loud, Tubbo took it with no hesitation. “Refused to wear dresses or blouses I spent my money on Oh Cass doesn’t like feminine clothing, she likes baggy things,” Wilbur nodded, signaling Tubbo to continue. “stopped listening to her name She just gets annoyed easily and stops listening.” -</span>
  <em>
    <span>and wore a binder behind my back, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he skimmed over that part. “Gave Tubbo back since he let Cass wear his clothing. This behavior was revolting. I hope their behavior gets cleaned up in the near future - Oh yeah. This woman was the one who sprayed us with a hose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wil leaned forward from his position, “sprayed you with a hose?! The fuck?” Phil held his hand up and closed it, shutting his son up, “You skipped a line bud.” He dramatically scanned over the note, “mmm nope. Can’t you talk to Cass about this when she's back? I can’t speak for her.” Phil stood up and opened the door, Wilbur walked out, “Come on Tubbo, let's go see how dinners going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boo No! Put that down right now!” Niki yelled at the teenager, Ranboo had picked up a mug filled with coffee. “Boo you’re going to spill it. Put it down or you're going to go get jamies on.” The teen just stood there holding the mug giggling at the girl, Niki snatched the cup out of the boy's hands and his laughing stopped. “Lets go kid, up the stairs. Jamies on.” He crossed his arms and sat himself on the kitchen floor and whined. Niki grabbed him under the arms and lifted him onto his feet, “Boo, I am far too tiny to pick you up and carry you like daddy or Techie. Be a big kid and stand up.” Eventually she got the boy up on his feet and walked up the stairs, passing Tommy who was still sitting still. Of course out of curious kid like nature Ranboo tried to talk to the quiet child but Techno got the teen to listen to the older girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She got the boy dressed in sleeping clothing and gave him his sloth plush. By the time they got back downstairs and into the kitchen Phil, Wilbur and Tubbo were setting the table while Techno was playing tic-tac-toe with Tommy quietly on the floor in the corner of the room. Ranboo made grabby hands and whined at his father until he was picked up and cuddled into his neck. Tubbo gave a questioning look at the duo but brushed it off and minded his own business. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone got their dishes of food and sat at the table, Techno and Tubbo sat on the floor with Tommy, who picked out and ate only the vegetables from his bowl. Tommy just listened to his brother talk to Techno while everyone else had their own conversations at the table. Techno was tracing lines with his fingers and Tommy followed them with the pen, it was one way the two older boys kept the blonde present and not zoned out again. “Hey bubs.” Tommy lifted his head and looked at his brother who was what looked to be analyzing him. “Your hair is shorter?” He spoke as a question but it was clear it was a statement. Tommy nodded, “I couldn’t sleep.” The boy scooted closer to his brother and started to play with the end of his hair, “It's all choppy though.” Techno took the last bite of his food “Do you want to get it cut properly. Will knows how to cut hair since he took cosmetology lessons last year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy scrunched his nose, “Chew your food before you talk asshole.” Techno laughed and swallowed his food. “Does this family have an issue with talking with food in their mouth or something?” Tubbo slapped Tommy’s arm “You did it all the time. You have no room to speak.” The three continued their merry war as everyone finished up their meals. After a small bit, Niki took Ranboo upstairs to go to bed while the trio of older men did the dishes and cleaned up the table. Tubbo stayed on the floor with the blonde, spoon-feeding him between sentences he spoke. Even though Tommy would refuse to take a bite from the food on the spoon Tubbo would slip it into his mouth when he spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pink haired man finished putting away the dishes, he pulled Wilbur over by the entrance away from their dad. “Can you do me a favor Wil?” Wilbur crossed his arms, “Sure, unless its drugs. Then I'm telling dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For fucks sake, why is everyone thinking I'm getting back on drugs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brunette held his hands up “Just a precaution.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno flicked his twins forehead, “Can you cut the kid's hair. They both need trims.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Techno, dude. It looks like Cass has already done her part on the hair. Have you not noticed her hair was at her shoulders and now it's at her jaw?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you cut it shorter? Get it to your length maybe? Since your hair is still quite long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whats next, you want me to dye their fucking hair?” The guy laughed at himself but stopped when he noticed the other’s face not budging. “Will, I'm serious. Can we go to your room and you give them a cut real quick. So dad won't see until the morning?” The man huffed and walked out of the kitchen and started making his way up the stairs, “I'm going out with Schlatt in ninety, so get their asses up here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno turned to the boys still on the floor, at Tommy who looked pissed off and Tubbo who looked flat-out annoyed. “Put the bowl away and let's go upstairs. I wanna show you guys a song I've been working on.” Tubbo jumped up and ran to the sink, he gave Phil who was grinning, the bowl. Tommy slowly stood up, stumbling a tad due to the dizziness that overran him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They followed Techno upstairs and into Wilbur's room. Wilbur was sitting on the top of his desk on the phone with someone, his desk chair was turned away from the desk with a trash bag on top. Next to him on the desk was multiple different hair clippers and shavers. “I gotta go, call you back in a bit.” Tubbo closed the door after they were all in the room, “This looks like a barber's shop, not music.” Techno picked up the acoustic guitar that stood next to the desk, “I’ll still play, but Will is gonna cut your hair.” The two boys just stood in their spots while the older boy sat on the bed and started re-tuning the guitar. Wilbur picked up one of the smaller scissors “Come on Tubbo, we’ll do yours first.” He walked over and sat in the chair on top of the plastic bag, “Either you take your shirt off, or we can just deal with a hair filled top after.” Tommy sat on the very edge of the bed, barley sitting on the mattress at all. He glared at the boy who sat behind his brother, he didn’t trust the whole shirt ordeal. Wilbur saw the way the blonde looked at him, “Cass, if I cut his hair while he’s wearing a shirt there will be hair on him and wherever that shirt goes since laundry day is tomorrow. I'm in my boxers so I don’t get hair on my pants.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno strummed the guitar strings, “If you ever feel unsafe you can yell for Niki or Phil and they will come running at lightning speed.” He watched as Tommy eyed the door, “If Wilbur does anything, I will personally beat the shit out of him. If I do anything, Wil and Phil will beat the shit out of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought there was no violence in this house?” Tubbo spoke while pulling his top off over his head. Wilbur took the shirt from the smaller boy and folded it onto the desk, “No violence unless they did something shitty. And I mean to purposely hurt someone. Would you not want us to beat someone if they touched you?” Tubbo turned around in the chair, “I would. And for Cass.” Wilbur smiled as the boy turned back around, “Then it's settled. We are here to protect you, and hurt everyone else who tries to cross our path.” They all relaxed in the room, Techno testing the strings and Wilbur starting off trimming small clips of Tubbo's hair. If Tommy wasn’t watching the pieces of hair fall to the ground, he was watching the way Techno’s fingers strummed across the guitar strings and how they vibrated and how it produced sound that mixed with his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How long have you been smiling?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It seems like it's been too long</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Tommy kept his guard up, he made sure nobody’s eyes wandered onto Tubbo's body, which they didn’t. Tubbo had started to drum his fingers against his lap, matching the rhythm of the music. Clips of brown hair fell onto the boys pale shoulders and on the floorboards below. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Some days I don't feel like trying</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So what the fuck are you on</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Niki could be heard walking around upstairs, going into just about every room. Though she stayed out of Tommy’s room, he mentally thanked her for the privacy he was given in that moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I think too much, we drink too much</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Falling in love like it's just nothing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>In the moment Tubbo ignored the urge to scratch his arms until they bled, he ignored the need to punch a wall. He just listened to the man singing and the quiet snips of the shears and focused on the beat he played on his legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to know where do we go</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When nothing's wrong</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno enjoyed the feeling of the guitar vibrating against his arms, he saw Tommy in the corner of his eye switching his focus between him and his twin. Though his mind was swimming with the only rule to protect the two boys, they were complete opposites that held similar stories.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cause all the kids are depressed</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing ever makes sense</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will measured the length of Tubbo's hair with each snip. He stopped brushing the stray hairs on his shoulders once the boy violently finished. He apologized profusely while continuing, he apologized so much to the point the kid started giggling at his actions. He didn’t question why the youngest was glaring at him with a look that could kill. He  did notice every so often when the brothers would make eye contact and the taller would yank his own hand away from the hold around his wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I'm not feeling alright</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Staying up 'til sunrise</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put down the guitar as Wilbur finished the last few cuts on Tubbo’s hair. Tommy opened his eyes, that he didn’t remember closing, “All done?” Somehow the kid sounded way more innocent than they’ve heard. Techno smirked at the boy beside him and nodded, the blonde pouted his lips and leaned against the wall. Tubbo stood up from the chair after shaking off the fallen hairs that littered his bare top. He stood in front of his pouting brother and held his hands out, which Tommy held back. “That just means he has more to write, Right Techno?” The older nodded, “See Bub. More to come.” Tubbo grinned, Tommy copying the older in the smiling. “Alright Cass, your turn eh?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo switched places with Tommy, he pointed at the door “Want to get changed into a tank top so you don't ruin that shirt?” Tommy gave him a questioning look but nodded anyways. The twins watched as the two kids walked out of the bedroom and across the hall into Tubbo and Ranboo’s shared room. “Ranboo is laying down, so you have to be quiet.” The blonde hummed in acknowledgement, Tubbo slowly cracked the door open, seeing the tall teenager asleep facing the wall. The two walked fully into the room quietly to not disturb the boy who was in slumber.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo opened a drawer that was next to his bed, he moved his few jumpers to the side of the drawer and pulled out Tommy’s binder from under the clothing. He turned towards his brother who’s eyes lit up at the sight, he reached out for the compressor but Tubbo pulled it away at the blondes excitement. “Just for the haircut, nothing else until this whole period thing gets sorted out.” He handed Tommy the binder and the boy took it from him slower this time, “And when would that be Tubs?” Tubbo put all his jumpers back into their spots, staring at Ranboo as he stirred in his sleep. He closed the drawer but didn’t turn around since he heard his brother changing his tops. “Techno said he won’t give either of us the test he bought until you come out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re joking, why the hell do I have to come out to get to know if I'm pregnant?!” Tubbo shushed his brother as the sleeping boy turned more, being disturbed by the younger raising his voice, “You do know that if you found out you were pregnant you would do something stupid right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would not.” He tossed the shirt he was wearing over his brother head, Tubbo turned around to Tommy adjusting the binder, “Talk to the big man about it than, see what he has to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t understand why you had to go and blab your mouth about me to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coloured hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo, your trust system is weird as hell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy. It’s coloured hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is coloured hair.” He repeated in a mumble. They walked back to the door, Tubbo bringing the discarded shirt just for after the hair cut. On their way back to Wilbur’s room they bumped into Niki who exited Techno’s. Niki squinted her eyes at the binder Tommy had on, but quickly moved her gaze on Tubbo’s hair, “Oh damn kid. Wilbur in there cutting your hair?” Tubbo nodded and Tommy shifted uncomfortably from the gaze he was given moment prior. Tommy looked at the bag and towels the girl had in her hand that came from the mans room, “What are you snooping in rooms for. Didn’t you already do a round.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just picking up some laundry from the boys rooms, not snooping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you have a bag.” Niki looked down at her own hands and at the bag hanging from her fingers, “That I do.” Tommy nodded and walked past her while Tubbo just stood. The taller boy cracked open Wilbur's door and muttered something to the guys inside, Niki started walking towards the stairs but Techno beat her to it ,coming out of the bedroom. Wilbur called for Tubbo and Tommy to come back into the room, which they did, closing the door leaving Techno in the hall towering over the girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe thats my bad Niki. Thought I put that bag under my bed, not in my laundry basket.” Techno reached out for the bag but she put it behind her back. “Niki.” he gave a deathening glare to his friend, “Why are being a brat right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shoudn’t have what’s in the bag Tech, so i’m giving it to Philza.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like hell you are. Give me my bag.” He tried snatching the bag once more but Niki slipped past the gap between her friend and the wall. She ran downstairs, ignoring the towels that fell from her arms, Techno ran down the stairs after her. She ran into the kitchen, onto the other side of the island, Techno ran in after her and stood opposite of her. “Niki I swear to god.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“PHIL!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Niki shut the hell up or so help me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am helping you, you promised you weren’t doing this again!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just throw it away. You don’t have to tell my dad about everything that happens!” Phil walked into the kitchen from his bedroom, “Techno Watson go to your room.” The boy turned around and faced the entrance that was behind him, “What the hell Phil? She snooped through my room!” Phil stared at his son, staying silent for what Techno believed to be far to long. “Dad!-” he turned back around to look at Niki who had placed the bag in front of her on the island top, “give it back Nihachu.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at the man who was still staring at his son, his face unreadable, disappointed? Scared? Mad? Confused? Possibly all four, the look far to illegible. “Tell Phil why you’re so defensive about this bag.” The man finally moved his gaze at the girl and bag on the table top, he walked over to the carrier, scooting it further towards the edge when Techno launched himself at it to get to it first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bud. EIther I open the bag, that I’ve never seen in our house before, and figure out whats inside. Or you can tell me whats in it. Because you’ve never been this defensive over a bag Niki has pulled from your room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She shouldn’t be snooping in my room period!” The father patted Niki on the shoulder, “You can go now Niki, go see what William and the kids are doing, yeah?” Niki walked around Phil, keeping her distance from the pink haired man as she walked out of the kitchen. After Niki was out of view upstairs, the two men stared at each other, the tension thick. Phil gripped the pull of the zipper, “Dad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I figure out whats in the bag by your verbal confession or my sight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just important papers for school. Extra credit and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr Watson do not lie to me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a lie!” He once again tried to grab the bag away from his father, who yet again moved it out of reach. Phil pulled at the zipper and dumped the bag, Techno finally accepting defeat as his father overlooked the contents that had spilled. Out fell tons of empty pill bottles and olden needles wrapped in paper. He picked up one of the tablet bottles that rolled towards him, “Addreall. Seriously Tech?” The boy held his head in his own hands, covering his face from the disappointed elder. Philza pushed a discarded needle towards his son with one of the crumpled papers, “What the hell was in these.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Methamphetamines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shoved the chair that was in front of him, the seat fell on the floor echoing a loud thump through the house. “What for?! Why would you do this again? You promised you would try!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno threw his hands up in the air, “I did fucking try Phil, I fucking did! You know that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You promised you would go to someone if you were going to go out and buy more shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An adult Technoblade. An adult who would keep this shit a secret!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stood staring at each other, dad’s face full of guilt and pain while the boy tried to hide his quivering lips aswell as the tears that strayed down his cheek. After a few minutes of silence Phil picked up a messed up notebook that had been the first thing that fell out. “Dad please don’t.” His voice no louder than a whisper, he was exhausted from trying to get any of his words through his father. He watched as his dad scanned his eyes through the written papers, face changing emotions after each line, all while staying in silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <span>“It just feels like im living in a pit of hell right now. Nothing makes sense.”</span>
    </em>
  </strike>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What is this?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <span>“Quite sure a few cuts deeper and boom, disappear for eternity. No more worries.”</span>
    </em>
  </strike>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I just go to bed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strike>
      <span>“But it hurts like hell man. And death is kinda scary. But it sounds peaceful.”</span>
    </strike>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think you’re gonna stay with me for a bit kiddo.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. sit and wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was mostly written on my phone, I also believe it sounds kinda rushed so im sorry, im going to be very busy with state testing this week, so next chapter may take a bit longer than normal.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Okay dude, you can’t just throw shit across your room and push past everyone who is trying to talk to you.” Techno shoved Wilbur with his shoulder to get to his desk behind his brother. “Tech, why are you packing your stuff at 3am?” He got ignored. Outside of the window car lights pulled its way into the homes back garage. Wilbur peaked through the blinds hanging on the window, he squinted at the parking car. “Is that Ant?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is Ant here?” He turned around and looked at Techno who was aggressively shoving school notebooks into his book bag. “Hello? Why are you packing almost everything, its 3am. Why is Ant here at 3am?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The floor outside of Techno’s door creaked, Phil peaked his head through the crack, “You packed bud?” Techno scowled at his dad, he picked up one of his smaller bags and threw it at the mans face, but he caught in front of him, “Please don’t throw your things at me.” He unzipped the handbag and did a quick search through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to listen to you since you aren’t my guardian now, right?” Wilbur looked at his father with shock, “What is he talking about?.....hes going back to Ant?” The dad tossed the bag that was thrown at him on the edge of the bed while Techno packed his third bag. “He’s not going back for long Wilbu-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Ant. You know-” He slung his book bag strap over his shoulder, “-the amazing man who made me stay for two years.” Wilbur blinked back some tears that had started to build up, he linked his arm around Techno’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am in no way letting you go back into what it was a year ago. I’ve already talked to Ant about everything” His voice was stern and tired, but also laced with love. The rose-haired man scoffed at the words that flew out of the old mans mouth, “You are sending me back to Ants building. The damn place I lived for years before I was finally able to leave that hell spawn!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Blade you are going to his house as another way for-” He caught a jumper that was thrown at his him, “Rehab. You’re going to stay with him to get next level help, you’re not going back to the center.” The brunette un-linked his arm from his brother, Techno was frozen in his spot staring at his dad “You relapsed?” The pain in his voice strangled Techno’s heart, he had failed his brother, he had broken a promise he had made. Phil brought his hand up and placed it onto his son’s shoulder, and the dam let loose. Techno broke, one small sob escaping his throat was followed by the building tears falling. The man pulled him into a tight embrace, letting him have an actual cry in his protection. Techno’s arms wrapped and squeezed around his father’s waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay.” He didn’t know if he was convincing Techno or himself. Will hugged his twin from behind, the trio sitting in the room full of the boys sobs. A knock from the front door broke the hug between the three, Phil broke away first, petting through his son’s long hair and ruffling his other sons fluff before leaving to room to let the social worker inside. Wilbur and Techno stayed how they were for a bit longer though, Will moved his hold from his brother waist to over his shoulders, letting Techno hold wrist that crossed in front of him. Randomly Techno chuckled, than broke out into a quiet laugh, “You have to take care of the kids now since im leaving!” He took back his arms from the embrace and smacked Techno over the head, “Cass doesn’t even like me dipshit, why do you do this to me!!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They laughed together and continued to pack important items in the room. Twenty minutes pass before Phil called Techno to come downstairs with his things, Wilbur decided to go back to bed so he could get up with the kids and let his father sleep. They hugged each other goodbye, and a see you later. Each step down the stairs were heavy, dragging along a tired, worn out and mentally exhausted teenager. He hadn’t seen ant in Ant in since he was 13, and the occasional run-ins when he would go into the rehab building for check ins. But an actual look and conversation with the man, its been four years. At the bottom of the stairs Phil stood leaning on the wall next to the book room and Ant kept it professional and stayed standing straight right in front of the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ant watched as Techno came into view from the second floor, “You tired there Technoblade?” The teen just glared at the intruder in his house. Phil held his hand out to take his sons bags, “Go grab something to eat from the kitchen, you’ll miss breakfast at the building.” He handed off his bags to his father, he avoided eye contact with Ant and he entered the kitchen. The room was dark, no lights had been turned on other than the stove top lamp. He opened the fridge, letting the yellow glow of the cooler let his face appear in the dark while a gust of cool air blew onto his face. All that was in the fridge that interested him was a a hard boiled egg that had been made the other morning, he grabbed the egg and closed the fridge leaving himself back in the dark. He walked away from the fridge, taking a bit into the food, and glanced outside the back doors. Outside Tommy was sitting against the tree, tossing small pebbles at the fence. The kid was facing away from the house and his arms seemed to shake every time they came into Techno’s view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened the door, listening to the crickets chirping and the pebbles hitting the wood across the yard. He ate the final bit of his egg before walking over to the sitting child. As the footsteps got closer to Tommy he stopped chucking the pebbles, he looked over his shoulder and saw Techno walking towards him. Once Techno was stood right beside the tree he could see a small puddle of bile that had been thrown up, soaking into the soil a foot or two in front of the boy. Tommy resumed his staring on the fence. It was more noticeable that the blondes body was slightly shaking, though there was barley a chill in the air. Techno just stood next to the tree, sort of behind the kid, “Why aren’t you wearing any shoes Tommy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Its quite normal to put shoes on when you’re going outdoors.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s that man inside?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, Antfrost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who is he.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My social worker.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy looked up at Techno, “You’re getting taken?”  He flashed a sad smile at the kid, “No, just going back to something like next level rehab.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do drugs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What type?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure i can tell you that information.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please? There’s not much I can do with the information anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad just found some old needles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy squinted his eyes and raise one eyebrow. “Old? You wouldn’t go to rehab if they were old. Who even keeps old needles, even I know you dispose of them as soon as possible.” Tommy was quite to tired and hungry to care about the words he chose to say, honestly it was still 3am, it felt like a dream. “You do drugs Tom?” He held his finger up and pointed at the man, “Used too. Tubbo’s been hiding them since we came here, he was supposed to give the shit to your dad but there’s, -” He sighed and wiped his nose which was running, “- there’s been a lot of stuff that Tubbo has been distracted by.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whats wrong with your brother?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean nothing much. He’s just always been one to be worried about me and he tries to take care of me. And everything has gotten stressful since we’ve been here, i’m just afraid he thinks he’s doing a shit job.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he doing a shit job? Because last time I checked he was the one who called me to buy you a pregnancy test, looked things up on Phil’s phone to help you with things, and he even offered to tell our dad that you guys have an issue with drugs if he was going to give them off to him. If anything, he’s doing more than expected.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy stood up off the ground, brushing off the back of the shorts from dirt that may have stuck onto him, “How long will you be gone?” Techno pushed himself off the tree where he had been leaning, “Last time I was away, I was gone for two years. But I was also extremely hooked on cocaine, this was just a relapse of some old stuff.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you did other things than coke?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, I abused adderall, abused methamphetamine, smoke weed almost everyday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you still?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Smoke weed? Yea, Phil allow’s Will and I to smoke weed once a week, usually when we get triggered, it became a way to not relapse into other things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I hug you Tech?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was shocked for a moment yes, but he opened his arms wide for the boy to embrace him. Tommy was small, you could feel every poke from his bones. His rib-cage poked you, his hip bones dug into your body while you wrap arms around him, expecting there to be more body than there actually is. They hugged for a minute, it was nice and relaxing for Tommy, a new thing. “Prime wrapped my hands while you chased Niki.” Techno pulled back to look at the younger’s hand. It was indeed wrapped in a bandage, gauze poking put a bit between wraps. “Prime eh?” Tommy nodded, Wilbur had brought up a nickname since he always caught Tommy flinching at the use of his real name. “I can vibe with that. Come on, I’m definitely being waited on inside right now.” Tommy stayed leaning against the boys side while they walked together back into the house, Techno promised him that he wouldn’t be away longer than two weeks and his drug relapse wasn’t because of his arrival, he also quickly explained the upcoming town dinner and gave Tommy his easy recipe of brownies to make. After that, Techno forced Tommy to go upstairs and back to bed before he would start crying in front of him. Tommy was just scared that the one person in the house he was comfortable around was going to be gone for a bit, while Tubbo had full trust onto two people already.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy went back upstairs, but instead of going to his room, he knocked on Wilbur's door. In 10 seconds he heard the lock on the door unlatch and a quiet “Come in.” He opened the door, Wilbur was laying on his stomach at the end of his bed. “Hey Cass, whats up?” He moved over and patted the space next to him, Tommy laid beside the boy. “I’m sorry for calling you a different name.” The older looked over at the kid, who was on his back staring at the ceiling, “If my name is traumatic for you, you are allowed to adapt the way you need.” The blonde hummed and closed his eyes, “Thank you for wrapping my hands n cutting my hair. It’s nice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ya like it? Its all fluffy and shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, its better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Im glad you like it bud, it suits you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled at Wilbur, he wondered if it was normal for girls to go by bud. “Are you gonna go to sleep Cass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, just resting my eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur laughed, “go ahead and sleep, im tired too. Don’t hog the blanket.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Prime.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey Cass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would happen if someone was trans?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur rolled onto his side to look at Tommy, “Well it would be a safe bet to tell Phil, so he could tell everyone else in the town, so nobody would misgender you. Plus the town is small and not many of the kids know about you and Tubbo, so you could be introduced as whoever you’d like.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who knows about us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Niki of course, since she has met you both. Foolish knows about you since his mom was told. Ranboo was talking about Tubbo too Callahan, not sure if he mentioned you. Fundy, Minx, Schlatt, Bad, and Karl haven’t heard anything about new comers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyone else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur thought for a moment, “Well George, Alyssa and Sap have yet to come by so they don’t know. I’ve told Eret and Dream about you. Thats it for what I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thats a lot of people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You get used to it. Its a town full of teenagers who are fucked up, you get close to everyone than it doesn’t seem like a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They laid in the quiet, it was now almost half past four in the morning. Wilbur ended up falling asleep pretty quickly after making sure his alarm was set. Tommy stayed awake for a bit longer, he scanned around the guys room, it was like his brain needed to memorize where everything was just like his room. Once he got bored of memorizing the bedroom he looked back at the teen who was fast asleep, snoring. He slowly moved himself to lay on his side, he lifted his top leg and slightly places it on top of the snoring boys. His calf crossing Wilbur’s knee, it was his way to try to understand that this William wasn’t the man at the group home. Wilbur wasn’t the one who touched him when he cried, he wasn't the one who ignored his please. Baby steps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Wilbur’s alarm went off, he woke up to Tommy’s face tucked into his chest. It was barley seven in the morning, the sun not even peaking over the hills. He carefully removed himself from the younger boys touch, making sure to not wake him. Will got up off the bed and went to grab his phone off the desk, next to his phone was a folded note with his name written on the front. He picked up the note and unfolded it, the writing was messy, almost unreadable, words were spelled wrong. Will really had questioned when the last time Tommy had been in school was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey Prime,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was wodnering if you could address me by Tommy and not Cass.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I Wpuld tell Phil myself but talking is scaru.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If not, thast okay, I dont mind. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just wonedring.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Goodnight, or morning.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Cass</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He refolded the letter and tucked it into his pj pockets. He turned around and Tommy was laying in the same spot, just looking at Wilbur with half asleep eyes. “Go back to sleep Tommy, its still early.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to be up to get food ready and all. Dad has been stressed so i’m giving him a break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded and flipped over, closing his eyes facing the wall, so go back to sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing had really happened, that's why it was confusing. Tubbo woke up, went downstairs where Wilbur was cooking hash browns and muffins. The sun was just rising, it looked similar to the sunrise from the group home on the day they got taken in. “Isn’t Techno usually up with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tech boy is gonna be away for a bit Tubbo, its all me for now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo didn’t ask what that had meant, he didn’t quite understand what was said other than that Techno wasn’t going to be home for who knows how long. He ate with Wilbur in the kitchen, having a small amount of potatoes and a muffin, Niki woke up during their eating and joined them. She also had Will eat half a muffin, and there was a no fight this time. Tubbo ignored the tear stains on the girls face, she looked too tired to talk about it anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy locked himself in Wilbur’s room. Tubbo overheard Wilbur talking to Niki about calling Tommy by Tommy and not Cass. He assumed that Tommy had told Wilbur or Phil his name, so he was excited and so very proud of his brother, until Wilbur’s door was locked. He did check the blondes room first, finding it empty, than knocking on Wilbur’s door and receiving something getting thrown against the wall. “Tommy come on, come eat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go away Tubbo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And maybe he would’ve thought something had happened to Tommy by Wilbur, oh the panic and anger rised in him. Until , “Im not coming out until Techno comes home,” And it made sense. Tubbo knew that the younger was only beginning to trust just Techno, now his person was gone for an unknown amount of time, it sucks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Around noon Phil got up with Ranboo, who was now not regressed. Before lunch Phil went through his locked drawer in his office and took out everyone's medication, asking Tubbo to get his and Tommy’s front heir bag. Everyone took their dose. Niki took some pills for migraines, Ranboo took his for anxiety, Wilbur for some acid re-flux, and Phil just took some aspirin for the headache he had gotten from stress. Phil managed to help Tubbo create a schedule of when to take his sleeping pills, after that he went upstairs but failed to get Tommy to open the door to take his supplements. Wilbur was sent upstairs somehow getting the door unlocked and gave the boy his pills.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to see his brother, he didn’t understand what he had done, but Wilbur had told Tubbo that Tommy didn’t want to talk to him for the moment so he stopped trying to get his attention. Ranboo asked about Techno quite a bit, asking if he went to the track, or Puffy’s, or was staying at Dreams place. He got the answer that he went on a road-trip for a bit to get a break, and Ranboo believed it. Everyone ended up either eating cereal or left over muffins for dinner, they watched a total of three movies including “Level 16”, “Wall-E” and “Monsters Inc” until it was lights out once again. Wilbur slept in Techno’s room, Tubbo closed himself in Tommy’s assigned bedroom while Phil gave up his bed to sleep with Ranboo, leaving Niki to sleep in the adults room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo knocked on the thin wall separating the two rooms, there was never a knock in response. Tommy hadn’t eaten at all during the day from his knowledge, the brunette heard that his brother cried before being forced to take his pills, Tubbo was worried and he had every right. But Tommy had let Wilbur in the room, he talked to Wilbur through the door, he was confused. Had he done something wrong? Had he been ignoring Tommy? No, no he hadn’t ignored him at all, he couldn’t of done something wrong al he had been doing was….becoming comfortable. He was relaxing into the home while his brother still had terrible feelings about the people. Is this what being selfish was like? Was he selfish enough to make himself feel at home while his only brother, his only friend suffered inside his own mind full of trauma? He fell asleep pretty quickly from the overwhelming thoughts running through his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was fine. Sure he couldn’t stand because his legs kept giving out on him, he felt his chest being too far away from being flat, he got winded just by tossing the blanket off his body. He was cold aswell, his nose was running from being so cold, finger’s felt like they could be blue under their disguise. Not to mention his throat was all sore and burning from purging in the lawn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He locked the door, was all he could do at the moment without almost passing out. He didn’t do anything other than fight the urge to fall asleep but failing, and waking up just to the sounds of people or animals outside. He felt bad for telling Tubbo to go away, for locking him out, but if someone talked to him right now his brain would explode from the noise. Along with all the pain came him being hyper aware, every scent that seeped under the cracks at the bottom of the door made him want to gag, same with all the textures touching his body, but he wouldn’t find the energy to uncover himself from the clothing or remove himself from the bed sheets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He of course let Wilbur into the room when he knocked, still afraid of getting hit for being a brat. When Will entered the room holding the bottle of his medication and something behind his back, he wanted to die even more than he had wanted before. "Pill time Toms." Tommy stared at the tall boy who was in front of him, "I'm sorry?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's pill time Tommy. Are you feeling okay? You look kinda out of it kiddo." The blonde hummed to acknowledge the guy. "Okay. Well, you can't take these bad boys on an empty stomach. So I brought up a peanut butter sandwich for ya." Wil brought his hand out from behind his back, showing off the sandwich.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tom waved him off "I'm not hungry big man. I've taken them on an empty stomach before."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's probably why they aren't working, since you have a long history of getting sick easily that we have been informed of."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur held the sandwich in front of the kid, "Come on, you have to eat something today. Its lunch time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Prime seriously I'm not hungry." Even with his protesting the food still made its way into his hand. And he didn't remember the details of how tears had started falling down his face, or how Wilbur had sat next to him and started rubbing his back. "You're doing good Tommy. You're okay." All he could feel was the sticky texture of the peanut butter trapping itself on the roof of his mouth. Why was he crying again? The texture of peanut butter and bread covering the inside of his mouth, or was it because of how high calories the food had or the fact he was being forced to eat the food.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur handed the blonde kid the pills, being patient with him. He waited as Tommy took the pills from his bigger hands. As he placed them on his tongue while still shaking and crying from taking just two bites of the bread with spread. He rubbed the boys back as he swallowed the pills dry, refusing to drink any water that was in his room.  But he soon started feeling his own tears building up as the kid quietly begged to not take another bite. As he begged Wilbur to leave him alone and to take the food with him. But he made Tommy finish the food, even if it did take forever and force a lot of tears to pool on the bed sheets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the whole food ordeal was over, all Tommy could think about and fear was that Wilbur figured out far too much. What normal teen cries because of a sandwich after not eating all day. What "fine" child begs to not eat any more. And who would Wilbur be if he didn't inform his dad about the strange breakdown over food. It hadn’t even been a whole week and so much has happened, so many secrets had been spilled too quickly.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. I have an itch for you my dear wine ~</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING - (what i believe) GRAPHIC SELF HARM</p><p>READ THE LINK AT THE TOP OF THE STORY.</p><p>sorry for a short chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OH9v_dloQlet4FkC-DtbNgeVXPEj5Aj4Ww-yhEBKo7Y/edit?usp=sharing">Please Read</a>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(time skip so i can try and keep motivation. I made it confusing, but it is around March in the story )</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil was setting the table in the kitchen while Tommy helped Niki set up the table outside. Everyone would start arriving in about twenty minutes, for it was the day of the town dinner. Phil explained to the new kids that they had a random dinner all together instead of celebrating traditional holidays as a town, of course they could still celebrate holidays when they came but everyone had their own beliefs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Outside was a bit chilly, but most considered it warm enough for an outdoor feast. The grill was cooking some hamburger patty’s, hot dogs and veggie kabobs. Inside, there were Techno’s brownies he told Tommy about, as well as potato salad in the fridge. Even though it was four in the evening, Tubbo had yet to come out of the bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the shared bedroom all morning Tubbo had been eyeing down the handbag. The same bag he was supposed to give to Phil day’s ago that contained all of the brother’s items. Tubbos glass and blades, the shared cigarettes, the weed and edibles, Tommy’s stashed Testosterone vial. The boy had just become weirdly overwhelmed in the period of days. Tommy was still slightly pushing him away, instead, he talked to Niki more. Ranboo had only regressed once since last time, but even him regressed stayed away from Tubbo, he looked mad at him. He still got time with Wilbur, the tall brunette would show Tubbo how to play music on the piano, or offered to watch a movie in secret during lights out. But the good didn’t outweigh the bad, curse his brain for over thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His back was pressed against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest and his eyes just naturally drawn to the bag. Downstairs he heard Phil ordering around everyone, telling them what to do or where to place the food. He wanted to push himself out of the bedroom, he wanted to go downstairs before everyone started arriving, but he couldn’t. He should’ve just thrown his items away, he wouldn’t have the temptations.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe just a small bit would satisfy the craving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon enough Tubbo found himself sitting with his back against the door in case someone tried to come in. Glass from an old wine glass the boy had shattered last year was held between his fingers. The shard was on the thicker end, but on one edge the glass thinned out, leaving a small piece to be sharp enough. There was still old dry blood on the shard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy looked at the dark scars on his lower arm, he had forgotten how obvious the marks were when he wore short sleeves. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Would they get suspicious if he started wearing longer clothing? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He lightly dragged the glass under and old scar, light enough to not break skin, but hard enough to leave a sight skin indent. He wasn’t sure if it was worth it, he didn’t even know where the need for release came from. Tubbo couldn’t get himself out of the room, that kept him trapped with the temptation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He focused on the talking downstairs, Phil and Niki laughing and the sound of Wilbur saying something about brownies.And while his mind focuses on the noises below him, he pressed the glass harshly onto his arm. He quickly swiped the shard across his pale skin, keeping the fragment dug into his arm. He waited to feel the warm blood pool down his skin, but instead all he felt was a huge sting with no heat trickling down. Tubbo stared at the ceiling, tears of frustration threatening to fall from his eyes. The boy was crying, the one cut hurt him more than he remembered, along with the fact that there was not much blood coming from the cut, he really thought he didn’t cut it deep enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But when he looked down at his arm, he noticed he cut </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>deep. There was blood for sure, but it was pooled inside of the slice. Through the blood, fat tissue had started to rise up towards the skin opening. Tubbo had cut to the fat on his arm, and deep enough to see a visible blue vein hidden between cells. Sudden anxiety over ran the boy, he had never gotten that deep before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Behind him there was a knock</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Tubs, people are arriving in fifteen. Can you come downstairs?” Tommy sounded excited to say the least, some how excited for a million strangers to flood the house, Tubbo was confused to say the least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knocked again, “Tubbo? You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy cleared his throat, “Yeah yeah sorry Tom. Ill be down in a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He listened as his brothers footsteps left the door, he signed in relief. The boy stood up from the ground, stabilizing himself by holding onto the door handle. He walked over to his dresser to find a long sleeve top, which wasn't hard to find. Tubbo switched his shirts carefully, attempting to not let the cloth rub against the fresh wont too much. He walked over to the bag and picked it up, he brought it over towards his bed, crouching down so he could push the bag under the frame right as someone opened the door. He shoved the bag under the bed and stood up quickly at the intrusion. Tommy still had his hand on the handle of the door, but quickly stepped inside and closed the door quietly after looking his older brother over. The blonde walked over to the other kid who was just standing and staring, he lightly grabbed his brothers arm and pulled it up to his face. That's when Tubbo realized he forgot to actually clean up, and the blood that was pooled inside the cut was soaking through the sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger huffed in both sadness and frustration. He dropped the arm gently before going back to the door, cracking it open slightly to make sure nobody had come upstairs. He nodded his head to the side for Tubbo to follow him out of the room, and he led the way into the second floor bathroom. Tommy locked the door than shoved the older to sit onto the toilet seat. “Roll up your sleeve.” He muttered while opening drawers and cabinet doors. “Tommy I just have to get a new shirt, its fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo, I don’t know what made you hurt yourself, but no matter what you’re supposed to take care of it. Roll your damn sleeve up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Tubbo did, he rolled up his shirt hissing slightly as the clothing rubbed against the skin. “Fucking Christ Tubbo, hold on.” Tommy put the first aid kit on the sink counter and rushed out the bathroom door. Tubbo looked at his wound. Some blood smeared going up his arm from rolling the sleeve up, the fat cells more visible since the blood had been taken away by the cloth. There was still a good amount of blood coming out, surrounding the outside of the harmed skin, but Tubbo was intrigued by the fat. The way it rose up, and how it was just a complete different layer of his arm under the layers of thick skin. It disturbed the boy how fascinated he was with it, it just made him scared of himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Tommy opened the bathroom door again, he was holding a bigger first aid kit, and Phil and a man was trailing behind him. Tubbo didn’t recognize the man, he had a beard only on the side of his face, completely avoiding his chin area. Tommy kneeled down next to Tubbo this time, stopping him from rolling his sleeve down when the new man approached the two near the toilet. The younger brother held the boys leg down when he tried to stand from the seat, “Hey hey hey, Tubs. This is Jay, he can help your arm yeah?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. It aches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some description of purging!!!!</p><p>also this is unedited and written when high, so if there is something that ABSOLUTELY makes no sense, lmk and ill try to fix it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Downstairs, everyone started to arrive. Minx was already outside chatting away with Wilbur since her and Schlatt had came together. Antfrost brought Fundy and Callahan, the teen’s were sitting at the kitchen island just chatting. Karl, Bad, foolish and Sapnap carpooled together, they all split up around the house. Hbomb and Puffy showed up a bit after everyone else, for they were waiting for their dishes of food to finish cooking at home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy was standing next to the tree in the backyard, observing everyone. He was slightly uncomfortable, his stomach was killing him and he felt extremely nauseous and the added anxiety of so many people around him wasn't helping his case. He had already gone upstairs once to get Tubbo, so he was waiting for him to come down to the party. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So Niki watched as Tommy ran up the stairs a second time to go get his brother and watched as the boy ran back downstairs in a panic. He went to her first, frantically moving his hands around in her face. Niki noticed it as sign language, but the speed Tommy was going and the amount he was shaking made it close to impossible to understand. She lightly held the kid’s wrist to stop him from moving around, “You gotta slow down, I can’t understand when you’re going that fast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So the blonde slowed down his movement, and re-spelled what he was saying before. “Phil? You want Phil?” Tommy nodded his head, “Okay yeah, Phil is at the grill outside. Is everything okay?” But Tommy ran past her and out the back doors to get the man, ignoring the people around who looked at him with concern. Phil was already looking at the boy who was making a slight scene. The man finished placing the food onto a plate by the time Tommy actually got near him, so he gave the kid all his attention. Tommy just grabbed Phil’s hand and started pulling him upstairs, the dad stopped him from walking and turned the blonde to face him when they were at the bottom of the stairs. “Tommy, whats wrong? You have to calm down for a second please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy took a few shaky breathes rather quickly, “Tubbo, upstairs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Tubbo?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He-, his arm has a bad cut.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the way the boy was acting, the man guessed that it was an exceptionally bad wound. Phil let go of Tommy’s hand and walked into the living room. Tom panicked for a moment thinking he was being ignored by the father, until he came back into the room with another man who was barley shorter, the new guy was also holding a slightly big red box. “Alright kiddo, this is Jschlatt. He can take care of that cut Tubbo has going on.” The kid overlooked Schlatt, when he deemed the guy as okay he started his way up the steps. The two older men followed after him, after he looked behind himself to see if they were following.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the men arrive at the bathroom all they saw was Tubbo being memorized by the cut. The kid didn’t hear Phil saying his name, or he at least didn’t respond to it. Tommy crouched down next to his brother and got his attention, and after some struggling to get Tubbo to stay seated, they were able to start examining his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Schlatt held the boys arm lightly, making sure that the boy was free to move his limb if he wanted too even if it would mess him up. Tommy was talking to Tubbo about cows, it was something the two had picked up a liking while in the house, since they watched the television quite often. The younger was keeping his brother distracted from noticing the touches around his arm, but he kept an eye on both of the men in the room just as a precaution. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The new man suddenly had transparent gloves on and was touching the area around the cut. It needed to be stitched together, sure, but there was obvious fragments that had made their way into the wound and stitching it would most likely trap in an infection. Phil handed the man a box from the larger first aid kit, containing butterfly-strips. The strips were to be used like a stitch, holding the skin together instead of just covering the slice up like a regular band aid. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone sat down at their desired seats, inside the house at the dinning room table, or outside on the ground or sitting on the picnic table benches. Though nobody touched the food or attempted to get up to fill their plates. It was common courtesy to wait for everyone at the dinner to be ready to eat before everyone else got the food, unless you are told to start the feast before everyone was ready.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Niki was talking with her closer friends, Fundy, Minx and Karl, who had gotten permission to bring his boyfriend to the dinner. She was currently talking with her friends partner, Quackity, about their studies. The five were enjoying their time while Wilbur was carrying conversation with his gang consisting of Dream, George, Alyssa and Ranboo, who was also leaning against his brother and playing with the older man’s fingers slightly dropping into little space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minx stood up after ten minutes and walked next to the tree in the backyard so everyone could hear her, “Phil said him and the other three are going to take a bit. So we can start eating without them.” Some people groaned out of disappointment for there being missing people, while some others whooped and cheered for the permission for food. Everyone stood randomly from their spots, taking turns at getting food that was placed in multiple different spots.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the stray guys came downstairs nobody questioned what they were doing. Tubbo led Tommy to sit near the fence that separated the front and backyard, after they got their plate of food. Ranboo joined them soon after everyone had started getting seconds. Fundy, Minx, Karl and Wilbur had ended up sitting together in a circle next to the single tree. They were all talking away, topics ranging from video games they have gotten into, to school sports they were taking interest too. Niki came over with a second plate full of food, she sat next to Minx and Karl. The two letting her get comfy, putting her legs on Karl's lap and rating her back against Minx’s shoulder. Nobody’s conversations stopped, the presence of the girl not burdening anyone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Half an hour passed and everyone started their games. Everyone split up, either inside playing on the gaming consoles, playing board games or outside playing beanbag toss or volleyball furthest away from the back doors. By the tree Karl, Niki, Wilbur and Fundy were still sitting and talking, occasionally going on their phones for photos or random check in’s on social media. They never posted on social media, at least not often, but they did all have private burner accounts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Niki shifted her position to get her legs off of Karl. She stood up and walked pass the trashcan that was next to the bunch. “Um hey Niki, the trash inside is full, you have to use this one.” Fundy pointed at the large can that was on the left of the tree. The girl awkwardly smiled and lifted the plate, she wasn’t one to talk to everyone in town, and since Fundy was fairly new to her she wasn't sure how to respond. “Oh, no i’m getting another plate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Karl waved his hands at the shorter girl, “Nihachu-” he dragged out the ending of her name, “get me another bread roll please!” Niki giggled at the boy and nodded at the request. Fundy was looking at Wilbur weirdly, like he was trying to get him to agree that something was gross or weird. But Wilbur scrunched his eyebrows at the ombre haired boy while cocking his head, being completely clueless on what the man was judging. Fundy rolled his eyes at the clueless boy next to him and turned his attention back on the girl who was about to turn around and make her way back to the food. “Niki, wouldn’t you think two plates was enough?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Niki’s face contorted into terror, but shifted her face into a convincing smile when she caught sight of Wilbur and Karl’s disgusted and concerned faces. “Maybe, but the food is just really good.” She gave an incredibly fake laugh, “I’ll be right back.” The girl turned her back on the men and walked into the house where at the table, Minx, Bad and Foolish were playing scrabble. She grabbed a fresh roll out of the basket on the table and asked for Bad to give them too Karl outside, the man happily agreed to do the task.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the man left the house to go in the backyard she made sure the other two were focused on their game before she made her way to Phil’s bathroom, or more commonly called the downstairs bathroom. She didn’t lock the door, no, but she did open the mirror cabinet to reveal the hidden items. Behind the mirror was mostly vitamins and melatonin, some random tubes of lotion and, finally, placed under everything was an unclaimed toothbrush. Sure she would usually just use her fingers, but they didn’t reach as far back as the brush did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As vomit escaped her throat with a loud gag, her entire stomach cramped up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pasta and chicken are complete shit to purge. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The toilet water was dyed a weird shade of brown from the chocolate, sauces and other random mixes of undigested foods. Niki stuck the end of the brush down her throat again, the final time was met with nothing but stomach acid burning the back of her throat with the final remainder of purged food.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had almost choked on chunks of poorly chewed chicken and awful clumps of bread. The back of her throat was aching from the poor abuse and the taste of her mouth could make her vomit even more. She stood up from her knees on the ground in front of the toilet, holding onto the seat so she could steady herself to not fall from the light head she now had. Two light knocks caught her attention, but it was Wilbur’s signature knock, so she was unphased. “One minute!” she called out, wincing at the burn of her throat again. On the other side of the door Wilbur started chatting, “Mouth wash is under the sink, Karl is absolutely pissed at Fundy and I promise you that you ate perfectly normal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl opened the door and stared at the man leaning against the frame, smirking. “You my lady are going to have to start putting Techno’s classes to use instead of relapsing. May as well practice on the Fundy bitch before you really need it.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Sneak away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS. THIS CHAPTER IS...OH</p><p>Warnings</p><p>-graphic violence<br/>-guns, knives and "torture"</p><p>THERE IS STUFF TO DO WITH THE PREGNANCY IN THIS, READ AT CAUTION </p><p>there's no editing, so if something doesn't make sense ill answer comments. (sorry for a short-ish chapter)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Karl made sure he got his thoughts through to the new boy, he was extremely stressed about the fact his friend had gotten triggered by the boys stupid words. But Niki didn’t hold any grudge against Fundy, she understood his background and the beliefs that had been forced upon him through his life. Fundy was raised to be homophobic, sexist and raised around strict hateful rules, she wasn’t mad at him, just herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone had finished their food and the small games they had started to play, by this time Puffy had helped Bad and George clean up and put left over food away, they kept the desserts like cookies, brownies and cheesecake out on the counter. Dream kept coming over behind George while he was wrapping food up, causing the older to get distracted from the simple task and Puffy swatting him with a rag. It was all in good fun. Everyone else split into their friend groups and into their own rooms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In Wilbur’s room was Schlatt, Dream, Quackity and Foolish, George joined them after he did his chore. Usually Techno would also join the bunch and play music with his brother, but this time Wil was the only musically inclined in the room so he would have to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> In Ranboo and Tubbo’s room was Ranboo, Bad, Sapnap, Callahan and Tubbo, Boo had begged Tubbo to introduce him to his friends and Tommy waved him off before he could ask his brother if it was okay. Ranboo was regressed slightly, which also added onto him wanting Tubbo around, apparently get hot attached easily. Bad joined the younger group to mostly keep an eye on Sapnap so he wouldn't say or try to get the boys to do something stupid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy had somehow been dragged into Techno’s painting room with the girls, plus Karl who wouldn’t stop with his concerned check ins on Niki. The boy wouldn’t even lie, he was feeling very, lets say, weird about being in a group with every girl. He’d describe it as a feminine group, not that it was a bad thing, he just didn’t know how to feel about being sided with the more feminine side. A pale hand with long black nails snapped in front of Tommy’s eyes, it forced the boy to zone back in and take in his surroundings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn kid, you really do zone out fast.” Minx’s voice sounded like she was making fun of him, but the soft smile she tossed him said otherwise. The blonde shifted in his spot, he realized that he was sitting on the edge of the room’s desk. Focusing more on his surroundings he noticed Karl and Alyssa had their backs turned, they faced the wall while whispering and their hands busy doing something. Niki had her hand poking out the cracked door, Tommy hearing something along the lines of </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen to everything he says, don’t force him </span>
  </em>
  <span>coming from Phil who was somewhere near the book room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minx had plugged in a fan next to the door and turned it on when Niki fully closed the door. To say Tommy was confused would be a small part of what his brain had going on. Somehow he ended up in a room full of people who were either laughing or had a scary serious look on their face. Tommy was about to jump off the desk and leave the room while everyone was away from the door, until he smelt it, the weed. What happened to the no drug rule? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes Phil enforced the no drug rules harshly, as most parents would, but during this town gathering and him dealing with the person Techno and Ant appeared with, he just didn’t care. Well yes he cared, but honestly, the bruised up man tied in the basement seemed like it needed more attention. It was a huge surprise to the man when his son messaged him to go downstairs and he got to see a bloody bruised man, his son, and Ant covered in drying blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jesus fuck Tech, who the hell is this?” The old man pinched the bridge of his nose. Ant stood up from his crouch behind the tied man, “This, Mr. Watson, is Cline Trotwood.” The old man cocked his head, “How did you find him?” Techno laughed, “Easy dad, the fucker was going around the neighboring towns looking for his-” He pulled the mans head back by the hair and made a mocking pouty face, “ poor son he loves so dearly. Isn't that right?” The man in the chair couldn't speak, gagged by a rope and a bandanna. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ant leaned against the back of the wooden seat, “Can I be informed on why we were looking for him anyways? Granted he came here but why were we looking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil went over to the room below the steps, the yellow light make the small closeted room look eerie, like it was from a movie. The wall was laced with metal, holding up a multitude of pistols, knives and rope, there was four shot guns leaned against the corner. He pocketed a 9mm and picked up a Japanese tanto knife from the middle of the wall. Walking back to the other men in the room he glared at Trotwood in the seat, he looked quite sinister. “Mr. Cline here is Tubbo’s birth father, not father.” he pointed at Ant, “get that right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ant nodded, “Second off, he's the cause for Tubbo’s shit life.” Techno’s gaze saddened, “What did he do?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil sighed, “Cline was an abusive man in general, abused Mrs. K who was Tubbo’s mother. Cline </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed</span>
  </em>
  <span> his wife, than left Tubbo on the streets when he went to dispose of her body. Tubbo got moved around by people on the streets since he was a baby.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno peaked up the basement stairs to the door, “So he’s been tracking Tubbo down?” Phil shook his head, “Not really, he’s more been trying to play pretend. Faking as a foster parent to get ahold of him.” Ant wrapped his arm around from the back of the man and plugged his nose, making it harder for the seated guy to breathe. “Phil, just go get Niki so we can get this over with, we have guests over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now the youngest boy in the town is smoking marijuana with all the girls and Karl. Minx was dancing to the music they had put on, it was upbeat and made all of them feel amazing. Niki had moved all of Techno’s painting and supplies into his desk so nobody would mess with anything. More so Tommy, since they never seen him high and as of now, he was jumping around with Alyssa to the music. The two were holding each others hands while jamming out to the beats of sound.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Karl was laid against Niki, high but calm, while the girl was mesmerized by how happy the blonde looked, he was different to say the least. He actually looked like he was having a good time, he didn't look so timid, and that was enough to make the girl happy. Until someone knocked on the rooms door, that made Tommy jump and back into a corner, guessing he’s still scared about getting yelled at for smoking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Niki stood from her spot and cracked the door open a bit. Phil hated when the smell seeped through and got around the house. “Niki, basement in five please.” That's all the dad said before walking away from the door, his tone was somewhat stern, but also annoyed which was unusual. She closed the door again and whispered in Karl's ear before turning her attention back to everyone else in the room who had stopped the music and their dancing. “Phil just needs to see me for a minute, you guys are fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minx threw her arms around Tommy while laughing, Alyssa turned the music back up to its max level and Karl hopped off the floor to follow Niki. “Where you going Karl?” Tommy caught him moving from the corner of his eye, Minx turned the kid back around to dance, “He’s getting his lover boy.” She made kissy faces at him, he gave a playful disgusted look at her and continued to dance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two left the room and walked out towards the entrance room. Karl went upstairs to get Big Q from Wilbur’s room, or mostly to get Wilbur to play music louder than he already was. Nihachu went towards the basement door that was on the side of the steps, outside the door you could hear Ant and Phil yelling at each other about something that wasn’t really named out loud. She opened the old door which gave out a slightly loud creek, but went unnoticed. She ran down the steps, noticing that the yelling was getting a bit out of hand, “Okay okay I'm here, what’s going o-.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Niki stopped mid-sentence, and the men went quiet. Seeing a random man, gagged, tied up, bloody and bruised in the basement wasn’t the weirdest thing that she has seen, but god was it disturbing. There was blood coming out of the guy’s mouth and his jaw was crooked at a gruesome angle, and there was Techno, sitting behind the chair, looking pissed off with blood spotted on his knuckles. “What..the...fuck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ant rushed over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, he walked her closer until she was stood right in front of the man. “Niki my love, this is Trotwood. And as I promised, you get to be the guest for our man here.” She shook her head, “I don’t get it. I was never promised to kill a Trotwood.” Techno scoffed at his friend, “He’s a rapist Niki. He raped Tubbo as a foster parent, that's why he’s down here.” Her face twisted with disgust, “How would he be a foster parent and Tubbo’s real parent.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil corrected her, “Birth parent.” She apologized quietly. Techno started telling her the story, “Cline was abusive, murdered Tubbo's birth mom. Blah blah blah. Left Tubbo on the streets to dispose of the ladies body, ended up losing the poor kid because people on the streets helped him since he was a baby. Yadda yadda yadda, he posed as a foster parent, got Tubbo and Tommy as foster kids and raped Tub’s as punishments.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she felt sick, it made her body feel heavy and gross. Phil grabbed her hand and placed the pistol in her palm. It felt heavy, more than usual, it felt like it was covered in guilt. “What did you do to his jaw.” She whispered almost unable to be heard. Phil closed her fingers around his gun, “He just pissed Tech off. You know how that goes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only if Tommy hadn’t slipped out of the room when the two girls weren’t looking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If only he had followed Karl instead of Niki to the basement he hadn’t even noticed was there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If only he had left the underground room when he saw the familiar man. When they started talking about Tubbo and the shit that had happened. When Phil gave Niki the gun, when she walked behind the man, when she pressed the gun to his temple, when Techno covered his ears with his messed up hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should of left when the gun went off and his head fell to the side than forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should of left when Niki tossed the gun on the ground and saw tears slip out her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He should have left instead of sat on the stairs poking his head around the wall. Before Techno’s eyes went wide and muttered curses under his breath while running towards the steps. He wouldn’t of panicked and tried crawling up the stairs to escape, he wouldn’t of been scared of being shot by the people downstairs. Tommy wouldn’t of been pulled into the pink haired mans arms and wouldn’t of heard the apologies and shushes from him either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when he moved his panicked face out of Techno’s chest he saw Niki leaned against the wall muffling her own cries. Not from murdering the man in the chair but because she accidentally let the poor boy watch a bullet be shot through a man’s head, unprepared. Techno pulled his head back into his chest, but before he could, Tommy saw the body. Mr. Cline who hadn’t been the nicest foster dad to him or Tubbo, he was evil for sure, the boy hated him. But the blood oozing from the guys head, a hold on the side and his body was limp. Tommy didn’t even realize he was crying until Techno tried wiping his eyes for him. He became aware of the pain his body was in, his stomach was cramping, he felt sick from the scene.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even notice the blood that soaked through his pants.</span>
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